# Mockumentary Revision

> Revise and polish mockumentary screenplays for comedy timing, tonal consistency, and documentary authenticity. Use when user needs to revise a mockumentary draft, punch up comedy, check tonal consistency, tighten dialogue, or polish scenes. Triggers on revision, rewriting, polish, punch-up, notes implementation, or refinement of mockumentary screenplays.

- Skill: `joelborellis/mockumentary-revision` (Agent Skill)
- Install (CLI): `npx skillmds@latest add joelborellis/mockumentary-revision`
- Raw SKILL.md: https://api.skillmd.com/api/skills/joelborellis/mockumentary-revision/raw
- Safety review: pending
- Works with: Claude Code, Claude.ai, OpenAI Codex
- Category: Coding & Dev Tools
- Author: joelborellis (https://skillmd.com/u/joelborellis)
- Updated: 2026-09-17
- Page: https://skillmd.com/skills/joelborellis/mockumentary-revision

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# Mockumentary Revision & Polish

Refine mockumentary screenplays for comedy, authenticity, and consistency.

## Revision Pass Order

Complete these passes in sequence. Each addresses different issues.

### Pass 1: Documentary Authenticity Check

**Does this feel like a real documentary?**

Check for:
- [ ] Consistent camera logic (who's filming? why?)
- [ ] Believable interview setups
- [ ] Appropriate verite moments (not too staged)
- [ ] B-roll that a real documentary would have
- [ ] Characters who behave like real people being filmed

**Red flags**:
- Scenes where camera presence is convenient but unexplained
- Talking heads that feel like exposition dumps
- Too-perfect timing that breaks documentary illusion
- Characters who forget they're being filmed when plot requires

### Pass 2: Earnestness Audit

**Do characters take themselves seriously?**

The cardinal sin of mockumentary: characters who seem to know they're funny.

Check each character:
- [ ] Do they believe in what they're doing?
- [ ] Are they trying to look good for the camera?
- [ ] Is their self-image consistent?
- [ ] Do they rationalize their failures?

**Red flags**:
- Winking at the audience
- Self-deprecating humor (mockumentary characters don't mock themselves)
- Characters acknowledging the absurdity of their world
- Punchlines that require breaking character

### Pass 3: Gap Consistency

**Is the gap between self-image and reality consistent for each character?**

For each major character, trace their arc:
- Same blind spot throughout?
- Do moments of clarity feel earned?
- Does the gap create consistent comic opportunities?

**Red flags**:
- Character suddenly aware of something they're defined by not seeing
- Gap that changes based on scene needs
- Moments of insight with no setup

### Pass 4: Talking Head Function

**Does every talking head earn its place?**

Each interview should:
- [ ] Reveal character (not just information)
- [ ] Show gap between self-image and reality
- [ ] React to/reframe what we just saw
- [ ] Set up what we're about to see
- [ ] Provide comic contrast

**Cut if talking head**:
- States what we just watched
- Provides exposition that could be shown
- Doesn't reveal character
- Breaks comic rhythm

### Pass 5: Comedy Punch-Up

**Is each comic moment landing?**

Mockumentary comedy tools:
- **The beat**: Pause that lets absurdity land
- **The look**: Character glances at camera
- **The contradiction**: Interview vs. reality
- **The understatement**: Huge thing described casually
- **The overshare**: TMI to camera
- **The commitment**: Character doubles down when they should quit

For each intended laugh:
- [ ] Is the setup clear?
- [ ] Is the payoff specific enough?
- [ ] Is there enough space for it to land?
- [ ] Could it be shorter/punchier?

### Pass 6: Pacing and Rhythm

**Does the comedy breathe?**

Check:
- [ ] Variety of scene lengths
- [ ] Talking heads not bunched together
- [ ] Verite scenes have room to develop
- [ ] Big laughs have setup time
- [ ] Small laughs keep momentum

**The Three-Scene Test**: Read any three consecutive scenes aloud. Do they have different rhythms?

### Pass 7: Dialogue Polish

**Does each character have a distinct voice?**

Read only one character's lines through the entire script:
- [ ] Consistent vocabulary?
- [ ] Recognizable speech patterns?
- [ ] Interview voice different from scene voice?
- [ ] Could you identify who's speaking without the character name?

**Dialogue tightening**:
- Cut words that don't add meaning
- Find the funniest word (not the first word you thought of)
- Let interrupted dialogue stay interrupted

## Common Mockumentary Problems

### "Too Written" Dialogue

**Problem**: Dialogue sounds like scripted comedy, not documentary footage.

**Fix**: Add imperfection. Real people:
- Start sentences, abandon them, restart
- Use filler words (um, like, you know)
- Repeat themselves
- Get interrupted

### Missing Camera Logic

**Problem**: How is the camera getting this shot?

**Fix**: Either justify camera presence or acknowledge the documentary is reconstructed/has access.

### Unearned Sweetness

**Problem**: Characters become sincere/warm in ways that don't fit.

**Fix**: Earn emotional moments through character consistency, not sudden changes. Sweetness works in mockumentary when it comes from the same place as the comedy—the character's genuine (if misguided) heart.

### Satire Without Specificity

**Problem**: General mockery rather than precise observation.

**Fix**: Make satire specific. Not "corporate culture is silly" but "the specific way this company does motivational posters reveals their dysfunction."

## Revision Notes Format

When revising based on notes, track changes in: `dev/revisions/`

Create files like:
- `dev/revisions/v2-notes.md`
- `dev/revisions/v3-punch-up.md`

Include:
1. What was changed
2. Why
3. What to watch in next pass