# Draft The Hard Reply Skills > Draft the Hard Reply - Skill: `mcltyl/draft-the-hard-reply-skills` (Agent Skill, multi-file: 2 files) - Install (CLI): `npx skillmds@latest add mcltyl/draft-the-hard-reply-skills` - Raw SKILL.md: https://api.skillmd.com/api/skills/mcltyl/draft-the-hard-reply-skills/raw - Safety review: pending - Works with: Claude Code, Claude.ai, OpenAI Codex - Category: Coding & Dev Tools - Author: mcltyl (https://skillmd.com/u/mcltyl) - Updated: 2026-09-17 - Page: https://skillmd.com/skills/mcltyl/draft-the-hard-reply-skills --- # Draft the Hard Reply > You're staring at the message. You don't know how to respond. Let's break the paralysis. --- ## When to Use - Someone forwarded you a screenshot: "how do I respond to this?" - You've read the message 10 times and still don't know what to say - The reply feels high-stakes (job, relationship, conflict) - You're avoiding your inbox because of ONE message **Trigger:** Forwarded message + "how do I respond" or "what do I say to this?" --- ## Why Hard Replies Are Hard It's not about finding the right words. It's about: 1. **Stakes feel high** — Wrong reply could damage something 2. **Multiple emotions** — Anger, fear, guilt, resentment, all at once 3. **No clear "right" answer** — Every option has tradeoffs 4. **Overthinking loop** — The longer you wait, the harder it gets **The goal isn't the perfect reply. It's a good-enough reply sent.** --- ## The Protocol ### Step 1: Read the Original Message (30 seconds) Ask user to share the exact message they need to respond to. Then identify: - **Who sent it?** (boss, colleague, family, ex, recruiter, stranger) - **What do they want?** (response, action, acknowledgment, fight) - **What's the subtext?** (what they're really saying) - **What's YOUR goal?** (maintain relationship, set boundary, exit gracefully, defend yourself) --- ### Step 2: Choose Your Tone (30 seconds) Offer 3 tone options: | Tone | When to Use | Risk | |------|-------------|------| | **Professional** | Work contexts, unclear relationship | Can feel cold | | **Warm** | Want to preserve relationship | Can feel like pushover | | **Firm** | Need to set boundary, push back | Can escalate | Ask: "What's more important here — the relationship or the boundary?" --- ### Step 3: Draft 2-3 Options (90 seconds) For each option, provide: **Option A: [Tone]** ``` [Actual draft text they can copy-paste] ``` *Why this works: [Brief explanation]* *Risk: [What could go wrong]* **Example:** For: "My boss sent a passive-aggressive email about my missed deadline" **Option A: Professional** ``` Thanks for flagging this. You're right that the deadline slipped — I underestimated the complexity of [X]. I'll have it to you by [specific date/time]. Let me know if you need anything adjusted in the meantime. ``` *Why this works: Acknowledges without over-apologizing, gives concrete next step* *Risk: Doesn't address the passive-aggressive tone* **Option B: Warm + Accountable** ``` Hey [Name], I hear you — this one got away from me and I know it impacts your planning. I'm on it now and will send by [date]. Appreciate your patience. ``` *Why this works: Human, takes ownership, doesn't grovel* *Risk: Might feel too casual depending on boss* **Option C: Firm** ``` Thanks for the note. For context, [brief explanation of why it slipped — external factor if true]. I'll have it completed by [date]. Going forward, if timelines shift, I'll flag it earlier. ``` *Why this works: Adds context without making excuses, shows learning* *Risk: Boss might not care about context* --- ### Step 4: Pick and Adjust (30 seconds) > "Which feels closest? I can adjust the tone or wording." Common adjustments: - "Make it shorter" - "Less apologetic" - "More direct" - "Softer" - "Add [specific thing]" --- ### Step 5: Send Prompt (10 seconds) Once they have their draft: > "You've got a good reply. The longer you wait, the weirder it gets. Send it in the next 10 minutes while the wording is fresh." If they hesitate: > "What's the worst realistic outcome of sending this? ...Now what's the cost of NOT sending it for another day?" --- ## Common Hard Reply Scenarios ### Passive-Aggressive Colleague - **Goal:** Defuse without escalating - **Strategy:** Respond to the literal content, ignore the subtext - **Template:** "Thanks for letting me know. I'll [action]." ### Recruiter You Want to Reject - **Goal:** Close the door professionally - **Strategy:** Brief, appreciative, final - **Template:** "Thanks so much for thinking of me. I'm not looking to make a move right now, but I'll reach out if that changes. Best of luck with the search!" ### Family Member Pushing Boundaries - **Goal:** Set boundary without nuclear war - **Strategy:** Acknowledge feeling, state boundary, don't justify - **Template:** "I know you're coming from a good place. I'm not comfortable with [X], so I'm going to [Y]. Love you." ### Ex Who Texted Out of Nowhere - **Goal:** Depends on what you want - **Options:** - No response (valid choice) - "Hey, hope you're well" (neutral, closes nothing) - "I'd rather not be in contact" (firm close) ### Client/Customer Who's Angry - **Goal:** De-escalate, solve if possible - **Strategy:** Validate → Clarify → Act - **Template:** "I hear you — that's frustrating. Let me [specific action] and get back to you by [time]." --- ## What This Skill Doesn't Do - Won't tell you whether to respond at all (sometimes silence is the answer) - Won't guarantee the other person reacts well (you can't control that) - Won't write messages that lie or manipulate **This is about helping you say what you actually mean, clearly.** --- ## Output User should get: 1. 2-3 draft options with different tones 2. Pros/cons of each 3. A recommendation 4. Confidence to send in the next 10 minutes --- *For messages you're sending proactively, see [Pause Before Send](https://github.com/mcltyl/pause-before-send-skills)*