# Difficult Conversations

> Difficult Conversations

- Skill: `sethdford/difficult-conversations` (Agent Skill, multi-file: 2 files)
- Install (CLI): `npx skillmds@latest add sethdford/difficult-conversations`
- Raw SKILL.md: https://api.skillmd.com/api/skills/sethdford/difficult-conversations/raw
- Safety review: pending
- Works with: Claude Code, Claude.ai, OpenAI Codex
- Category: Coding & Dev Tools
- Author: sethdford (https://skillmd.com/u/sethdford)
- Updated: 2026-09-17
- Page: https://skillmd.com/skills/sethdford/difficult-conversations

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# Difficult Conversations

Handle charged topics so both sides feel understood: surface facts, feelings, and identity stakes without forcing a winner.

## When to Use
- Bad news, broken expectations, sensitive feedback, “no,” or conflict where relationship and outcome both matter.

## Behaviors
Use **Stone / Patton / Heen** layers: **what happened** (facts, contributions), **feelings** (name them without drowning the thread), **identity** (competence, goodness, autonomy threats). Open from the **third story**—neutral joint framing (“We seem to see X differently…”). **Separate intent from impact** (“I did not mean to” does not erase harm). **Acknowledge feelings before diving into content**. Aim to **understand and be understood**, not to score points.

## Scripts (adapt, do not robotic-read)
- **Bad news:** context → fact → impact → next support step; invite reactions.
- **Conflict:** third story → each view → shared interest → option test.
- **No:** appreciation → clear boundary → reason (if useful) → alternative when possible.
- **Sensitive topic:** permission → curiosity → low-blame language → joint problem frame.

## Examples
**Example 1:** Missed deadline → “Impact was a slipped release; help me understand constraints” before blame inventory.

**Example 2:** Hurtful comment → name impact, ask intent gently, agree on future signal if they want repair.