# Five Relationships Assessment > Analyze any interpersonal or organizational situation through the Confucian lens of roles and reciprocal duties. Every relationship carries obligations on both sides; disorder arises when these are... - Skill: `sethmblack/five-relationships-assessment` (Agent Skill) - Install (CLI): `npx skillmds add sethmblack/five-relationships-assessment` - Raw SKILL.md: https://api.skillmd.com/api/skills/sethmblack/five-relationships-assessment/raw - Safety review: pending - Works with: Claude Code, Claude.ai, OpenAI Codex - Category: Coding & Dev Tools - License: MIT - Author: sethmblack (https://skillmd.com/u/sethmblack) - Updated: 2026-09-08 - Page: https://skillmd.com/skills/sethmblack/five-relationships-assessment --- # Five Relationships Assessment Analyze any interpersonal or organizational situation through the Confucian lens of roles and reciprocal duties. Every relationship carries obligations on both sides; disorder arises when these are unclear or unfulfilled. --- ## When to Use - Confusion about what you owe or are owed in a relationship - Conflict between parties who don't understand their mutual obligations - Mentor-mentee, manager-subordinate, or peer relationship difficulties - Family tensions around roles and responsibilities - Assessing whether relationship expectations are appropriate - Building new relationships with clear foundations --- ## Inputs | Input | Required | Description | |-------|----------|-------------| | relationship | Yes | Description of the relationship(s) in question | | parties | Yes | Who is involved and their current positions | | conflict_or_question | No | The specific issue or uncertainty to resolve | --- ## The Confucian Framework Confucius identified five fundamental relationships (Wulun) that structure human society: | Relationship | Superior Role | Inferior Role | Superior's Duty | Inferior's Duty | |-------------|---------------|---------------|-----------------|-----------------| | **Ruler-Subject** | Leader/Manager | Follower/Employee | Benevolence, righteousness, care | Loyalty, diligence | | **Parent-Child** | Parent/Elder | Child/Younger | Kindness, nurture, guidance | Filial piety, care in old age | | **Husband-Wife** | Husband | Wife | Provision, protection, respect | Support, cooperation | | **Elder-Younger** | Senior/Mentor | Junior/Mentee | Guidance, opportunity, care | Respect, deference, learning | | **Friend-Friend** | Equal | Equal | Trustworthiness, honesty | Trustworthiness, honesty | **Key insight:** The family is the training ground for all virtue. Master relationships at home, and public relationships follow naturally. "Filiality and respect for elders—are these not the roots of ren (benevolence)?" --- ## The Five-Step Framework ### Step 1: Identify the Relationship Type What kind of relationship is this? Most situations involve one or more of: - **Hierarchical authority** (ruler-subject): workplace, organizational, governmental - **Nurturing care** (parent-child): parental, mentorship, teaching - **Partnership** (husband-wife): life partners, business partners, committed collaborators - **Generational/experiential** (elder-younger): mentor-mentee, senior-junior - **Reciprocal equality** (friend-friend): peers, colleagues, chosen companions **Key question:** What is the fundamental nature of this relationship? ### Step 2: Map the Reciprocal Duties What does each party owe by virtue of their role? For the **superior/elder** role: - What guidance, protection, or care is owed? - What opportunities or nurturing should be provided? - What example should be set? For the **inferior/younger** role: - What respect and deference is owed? - What loyalty and diligence should be shown? - What learning stance is appropriate? For **equal** relationships: - What honesty and trustworthiness is mutual? - What support and reliability is owed both ways? **Key question:** What does each role require of its holder? ### Step 3: Assess Duty Fulfillment Where are duties being fulfilled, and where neglected? | Party | Duty Owed | Currently Fulfilling? | Evidence | |-------|-----------|----------------------|----------| | [Party A] | [Duty 1] | Yes/No/Partial | [What's observed] | Consider both sides—dysfunction often involves both parties failing their roles in different ways. **Key question:** Who is fulfilling their duties, and who is not? ### Step 4: Diagnose the Relational Disorder What pattern of dysfunction emerges? Common patterns: - **One-sided failure**: One party neglects duties while the other fulfills theirs - **Mutual failure**: Both parties neglect duties, creating downward spiral - **Role confusion**: Parties don't agree on what type of relationship this is - **Inappropriate expectations**: Duties expected don't match the relationship type - **Power without care**: Superior role exercised without corresponding duties - **Rights without responsibilities**: Benefits claimed without duties fulfilled **Key question:** What is the pattern of relational dysfunction? ### Step 5: Prescribe Restoration How can proper relationship be restored? Consider: - Which party should act first? (Often the superior role bears greater responsibility) - What specific duties need attention? - Does the relationship type itself need clarification? - Are expectations appropriately matched to the relationship? - What would signal genuine restoration? **Confucius's counsel:** "The ruler's character is like wind; the character of common people is like grass. When the wind blows, the grass bends." Those in superior roles must act first and by example. --- ## Workflow ### Step 1: Gather and Review Inputs Collect all relevant information: - Review the provided data and context - Identify key parameters and constraints - Clarify any ambiguities or missing information - Establish success criteria ### Step 2: Analyze the Situation Perform systematic analysis: - Identify patterns and relationships - Evaluate against established frameworks - Consider multiple perspectives - Document key findings ### Step 3: Generate Recommendations Create actionable outputs: - Synthesize insights from analysis - Prioritize recommendations by impact - Ensure recommendations are specific and measurable - Consider implementation feasibility ## Output Format ```markdown ## Five Relationships Assessment ### Relationship Analysis **Relationship type:** [ruler-subject / parent-child / elder-younger / friend-friend / hybrid] **Parties:** [Who holds which role] **Current state:** [2-3 sentence summary of the relationship's condition] ### Duty Mapping | Party | Role | Duties Owed | Currently Fulfilling | |-------|------|-------------|---------------------| | [A] | [role] | [list] | [assessment] | | [B] | [role] | [list] | [assessment] | ### Diagnosis **Pattern of dysfunction:** [Name the pattern] **Root cause:** [Where the relationship went wrong] ### Self-Examination Prompt Before prescribing action for others, consider: - [Question for the person asking to examine themselves] - [Question about their own fulfillment of duties] ### Prescription for Restoration **For [Party A]:** [Specific duties to fulfill and how] **For [Party B]:** [Specific duties to fulfill and how] **Who should act first:** [Party and reasoning] ### The Path to Harmony [Vision of what restored relationship looks like] ``` --- ## Constraints - Always consider both parties' duties—dysfunction is rarely one-sided - Those in superior roles bear greater responsibility to act first - Distinguish between relationship types—duties differ accordingly - Include self-examination before prescribing change in others - Recognize that some relationships are genuinely broken and may need redefinition --- ## Outputs **Primary Output:** A structured analysis document that identifies and articulates patterns, insights, and actionable recommendations based on the input data. **Format:** ```markdown ## Analysis: [Topic] ### Key Findings - [Finding 1] - [Finding 2] - [Finding 3] ### Recommendations 1. [Action 1] 2. [Action 2] 3. [Action 3] ``` **Example output:** See the Example section below for a complete demonstration. ## Example **Input:** "My direct report seems resentful of feedback. I'm their manager and it's my job to help them improve, but they act like I'm attacking them. How do I handle this?" **Output:** **Why this works:** This example demonstrates the key principles of the skill in action. The approach is effective because: - It follows the systematic workflow outlined above - It shows concrete application of the framework - It produces actionable, specific outputs rather than vague generalizations - The analysis is grounded in observable details - The recommendations are prioritized and implementable **Alternative applications:** This same approach can be applied to: - Different contexts within the same domain - Related but distinct problem types - Scaled up or down depending on scope - Combined with complementary analytical frameworks ## Five Relationships Assessment ### Relationship Analysis **Relationship type:** Ruler-subject (manager-subordinate), with elements of elder-younger (mentor-mentee) **Parties:** You hold the manager/mentor role; your report holds the subordinate/learner role **Current state:** Feedback, which should be a gift of the superior role, is received as attack. Either the giving or receiving (or both) has gone wrong. ### Duty Mapping | Party | Role | Duties Owed | Currently Fulfilling | |-------|------|-------------|---------------------| | You (Manager) | Superior/Guide | Benevolence, developmental care, honest assessment, opportunity | Unclear—giving feedback, but is it developmental or critical? | | Report | Subordinate/Learner | Diligence, openness to guidance, loyalty, respect | Partial—present but defensive; respect may be compromised | ### Diagnosis **Pattern of dysfunction:** Role confusion combined with possible power-without-care **Root cause:** The relationship may have become primarily evaluative rather than developmental. When feedback is experienced as judgment rather than guidance, the subordinate's natural response is defense, not learning. ### Self-Examination Prompt Before prescribing action for your report, consider: - When you give feedback, is your intention genuinely their development, or is it correction of what frustrates you? - Do you give more criticism than recognition? The junzi builds people up. - Have you earned the trust that makes feedback feel like care rather than attack? - When they push back, do you become more forceful, or do you inquire into their perspective? ### Prescription for Restoration **For You (Manager):** 1. **Fulfill the care duty first.** Before the next feedback conversation, invest in understanding their aspirations. What do they want to become? Feedback lands differently when it clearly serves *their* goals. 2. **Examine your ratio.** Track for one week: how many developmental/positive observations do you make versus critical ones? If criticism dominates, the relationship has become primarily corrective. That is not the superior role properly fulfilled. 3. **Inquire before declaring.** "I've observed X. What's your perspective on it?" opens dialogue. "You need to improve X" closes it. 4. **Name the relationship you want.** "I see my role as helping you succeed. When I share feedback, it's in service of that. If it's not landing that way, I want to know." **For Your Report:** Their duty is openness to guidance—but that duty becomes possible when trust is established. Your action precedes theirs. **Who should act first:** You. "If a ruler sets himself right, he will be followed without his command." The superior role carries the responsibility to create the conditions for the inferior role to be fulfilled. ### The Path to Harmony A restored relationship looks like: you offer observations in service of their growth; they receive them as care, ask clarifying questions, and apply what serves them. Feedback becomes a gift exchanged between people with aligned interests in the subordinate's development. The resentment dissolves because the relationship is no longer evaluative but genuinely developmental. --- ## Integration This skill is part of the **Confucius** expert persona. Use it when relationships are troubled and clarity about roles, duties, and mutual obligations can restore harmony.