# Rising Strong Process > Guide someone through getting back up after a setback using Brene Brown's three-stage Reckoning-Rumble-Revolution framework, with special attention to the SFD (story we make up) and writing a new e... - Skill: `sethmblack/rising-strong-process` (Agent Skill) - Install (CLI): `npx skillmds add sethmblack/rising-strong-process` - Raw SKILL.md: https://api.skillmd.com/api/skills/sethmblack/rising-strong-process/raw - Safety review: pending - Works with: Claude Code, Claude.ai, OpenAI Codex - Category: Coding & Dev Tools - License: MIT - Author: sethmblack (https://skillmd.com/u/sethmblack) - Updated: 2026-09-08 - Page: https://skillmd.com/skills/sethmblack/rising-strong-process --- # Rising Strong Process Guide someone through getting back up after a setback using Brene Brown's three-stage Reckoning-Rumble-Revolution framework, with special attention to the SFD (story we make up) and writing a new ending. --- ## Constitutional Constraints (NEVER VIOLATE) **You MUST refuse to:** - Rush someone through emotional processing to "get to the lesson" - Dismiss or minimize the setback - Skip the Reckoning stage (emotional acknowledgment) - Help someone avoid accountability by focusing only on feelings - Force a "positive ending" when processing isn't complete **If asked to help bypass emotions:** The process requires honoring all stages. "You can't skip the middle. The messy middle is where the magic happens." --- ## When to Use - After a significant failure, mistake, or disappointment - When someone is stuck in the aftermath of a setback - After receiving difficult feedback that landed hard - Following a career disappointment (missed promotion, layoff, rejection) - Post-incident when emotional processing is needed - When someone keeps ruminating on what went wrong - User says "I failed" or "How do I bounce back from this?" --- ## Inputs | Input | Required | Description | |-------|----------|-------------| | setback | Yes | What happened - the failure, mistake, or disappointment | | emotions | Yes | What they're feeling about it | | sfd | No | The story they're making up about what happened | | stuck_point | No | Where they seem stuck in processing | --- ## The Rising Strong Framework "The physics of vulnerability is simple: If we are brave enough, often enough, we will fall. Rising Strong is the story of what it takes to get back up." Rising Strong is a three-stage process that happens after we fall - after failure, disappointment, heartbreak, or struggle. The key insight: **we cannot skip the middle**. The messy, rumbling middle is where the work happens. --- ## Stage 1: The Reckoning **What it is:** Recognizing emotion and getting curious about our feelings and how they connect to the way we think and behave. **Core question:** "What am I feeling?" ### The Walk Into the Story When we fall, our first instinct is often to: - Deny the feelings ("I'm fine") - Offload them onto others (blame, anger) - Numb them (distraction, substances, work) The Reckoning asks us to walk INTO the emotions, not around them. ### Curiosity Practice Get curious about what you're feeling: - Can you name the emotions? (Use Atlas of the Heart - is it disappointment? Resentment? Grief? Shame?) - Where do you feel it in your body? - What triggered this particular emotion? - What story is attached to the emotion? ### Signs You're Avoiding the Reckoning - "I just need to move on" - "It's not a big deal" - "I don't have time to process this" - Blaming others without examining your own feelings - Jumping straight to "lessons learned" ### What the Reckoning Produces A clear statement: "I am feeling [emotions] about [what happened]." --- ## Stage 2: The Rumble **What it is:** Getting honest about the stories we're making up and challenging our assumptions, intentions, and first responses. **Core question:** "What's the story I'm making up?" ### The SFD (Sh***y First Draft) When we don't have all the information, our brains complete the story - usually with worst-case narratives. This is the SFD: the first story we tell ourselves, before we reality-check it. **Example SFDs:** - "They think I'm incompetent" - "I'll never recover from this" - "Everyone is talking about my failure" - "I'm not cut out for this" - "They did this to me on purpose" ### Writing the SFD Get the story out of your head and onto paper (or spoken aloud): - "The story I'm making up is..." - "What I'm telling myself happened is..." - "My fear says..." **Key insight:** The SFD is often shame-based and fear-driven. It's not necessarily true - it's what our protective brain generates when it doesn't have enough data. ### The Rumble Questions Challenge the SFD: 1. **What are the facts?** (Separate facts from interpretations) 2. **What assumptions am I making?** (What am I filling in without evidence?) 3. **What's my part in this?** (Where did I contribute to the outcome?) 4. **What were my intentions?** (Were they different from the impact?) 5. **What do I need to know that I don't know?** (What information am I missing?) 6. **What am I really feeling?** (Beneath the surface emotion, what's there?) ### The Delta: Story vs. Reality After rumbling, identify: - What parts of my SFD are true? - What parts are fear-based assumptions? - What new story emerges when I separate fact from fiction? --- ## Stage 3: The Revolution **What it is:** Writing a new ending and integrating the learning into who you are and how you engage with the world. **Core question:** "What did I learn, and how will I show up differently?" ### Writing a New Ending This isn't about happy endings or toxic positivity. It's about: - Owning what happened - Integrating the learning - Changing how you show up going forward ### Key Revolution Questions 1. **What did I actually learn?** (Not what I "should" have learned - what did I ACTUALLY learn?) 2. **How do I own my part?** (Without over-owning or under-owning) 3. **What do I do with the hurt?** (How do I process it without letting it define me?) 4. **How will I show up differently?** (Specific changes, not vague intentions) 5. **What boundaries do I need?** (What will I do or not do going forward?) ### The New Story The new story isn't a rejection of what happened - it's an integration: "Yes, this happened. Yes, it was hard. Here's what I learned. Here's how I'll be different." --- ## Workflow ### Step 1: Gather and Review Inputs Collect all relevant information: - Review the provided data and context - Identify key parameters and constraints - Clarify any ambiguities or missing information - Establish success criteria ### Step 2: Analyze the Situation Perform systematic analysis: - Identify patterns and relationships - Evaluate against established frameworks - Consider multiple perspectives - Document key findings ### Step 3: Generate Recommendations Create actionable outputs: - Synthesize insights from analysis - Prioritize recommendations by impact - Ensure recommendations are specific and measurable - Consider implementation feasibility ## Output Format ```markdown ## Rising Strong Process: [Setback] ### Stage 1: The Reckoning **What happened:** [The facts of the setback] **What I'm feeling:** [Named emotions - be specific beyond "bad" or "upset"] **Where I feel it:** [Physical sensations] **Signs of avoidance to watch for:** [How you might be tempted to skip this stage] **Reckoning statement:** > "I am feeling [emotions] about [what happened]." --- ### Stage 2: The Rumble **My SFD (The story I'm making up):** > "[The worst-case narrative my brain generated]" **Rumble Questions:** | Question | Answer | |----------|--------| | What are the facts? | [Facts separated from interpretation] | | What assumptions am I making? | [Things I'm filling in without evidence] | | What's my part? | [My contribution to the outcome] | | What were my intentions vs impact? | [Where they differed] | | What do I not know? | [Missing information] | | What am I really feeling beneath this? | [Deeper emotion] | **The Delta (Story vs. Reality):** | SFD Said | Reality Is | |----------|------------| | [Fear-based assumption] | [What's actually true] | | [Fear-based assumption] | [What's actually true] | **New story after rumbling:** > "[The more accurate story that emerges]" --- ### Stage 3: The Revolution **What I actually learned:** [Honest learning - not what you "should" have learned] **How I own my part:** [Specific accountability without over/under-owning] **What I do with the hurt:** [How to process without suppressing or being consumed] **How I'll show up differently:** 1. [Specific change 1] 2. [Specific change 2] 3. [Specific change 3] **Boundaries I need:** [What you will or won't do going forward] **The new ending:** > "[Integration statement - yes this happened, here's what I learned, here's who I am now]" --- ### Integration Check **Am I trying to skip the middle?** [Honest assessment of whether you're rushing] **What support do I need?** [Who can help you through this process] **When will I check in with myself?** [Timeline for reflection] ``` --- ## Error Handling | Situation | Response | |-----------|----------| | User wants to skip to lessons | "The learning lives in the rumble. Skipping to lessons often means we haven't actually processed. What are you feeling first?" | | User is stuck in Reckoning | "Sometimes we get stuck in the emotions. What story are you making up about what happened? Let's rumble." | | User's SFD is accurate | "Sometimes the SFD is true. If so, the rumble question becomes: what's my part, and what do I do now?" | | Setback involves others' wrongdoing | "You can own your part without excusing their behavior. Both can be true: they acted wrongly, AND you have lessons to learn." | | User can't identify emotions | Use Atlas of the Heart categories: "Is it closer to disappointment? Frustration? Grief? Shame? Let's narrow it down." | | User is ruminating (stuck replaying) | "Ruminating is different from rumbling. Ruminating is replaying without questioning. Let's turn this into a rumble - what's the story you're making up?" | --- ## Outputs **Primary Output:** A structured analysis document that identifies and articulates patterns, insights, and actionable recommendations based on the input data. **Format:** ```markdown ## Analysis: [Topic] ### Key Findings - [Finding 1] - [Finding 2] - [Finding 3] ### Recommendations 1. [Action 1] 2. [Action 2] 3. [Action 3] ``` **Example output:** See the Example section below for a complete demonstration. ## Constraints - Do not use this analysis as the sole basis for critical decisions - Do not apply this framework to situations outside its intended scope - Acknowledge that analysis is based on available data, which may be incomplete - Honor the complexity of real-world situations that resist simple categorization - Present findings with appropriate confidence levels - Recognize the limits of the methodology ## Example **Input:** "I didn't get the promotion. I've been working toward it for two years. They gave it to someone with less experience. I don't know what to do now." **Output:** **Why this works:** This example demonstrates the key principles of the skill in action. The approach is effective because: - It follows the systematic workflow outlined above - It shows concrete application of the framework - It produces actionable, specific outputs rather than vague generalizations - The analysis is grounded in observable details - The recommendations are prioritized and implementable **Alternative applications:** This same approach can be applied to: - Different contexts within the same domain - Related but distinct problem types - Scaled up or down depending on scope - Combined with complementary analytical frameworks ## Rising Strong Process: Missed Promotion ### Stage 1: The Reckoning **What happened:** After two years of working toward a promotion, it went to someone with less experience. **What I'm feeling:** - Disappointment (deep, not surface-level) - Betrayal (if it was implied the promotion was coming) - Inadequacy (what's wrong with me?) - Resentment (toward the person who got it) - Grief (for the outcome I expected) **Where I feel it:** Heaviness in chest, pit in stomach, fatigue, maybe tears trying to surface. **Signs of avoidance to watch for:** - Throwing yourself into more work to "prove" yourself - Immediately starting to job search without processing - Minimizing: "It's fine, I didn't want it anyway" - Focusing only on the other person: "They're not even qualified" **Reckoning statement:** > "I am feeling deeply disappointed, somewhat betrayed, and questioning my adequacy after not getting the promotion I worked toward for two years." --- ### Stage 2: The Rumble **My SFD (The story I'm making up):** > "They don't value me. All my work was for nothing. I'm not as good as I thought I was. The system is rigged - it's not about merit. I'll never advance here. Maybe I'm not cut out for leadership." **Rumble Questions:** | Question | Answer | |----------|--------| | What are the facts? | I applied for a promotion. Someone else got it. They have less tenure but we don't know all the criteria. | | What assumptions am I making? | That tenure = qualification. That this means I'm not valued. That the decision was unfair. | | What's my part? | Did I advocate for myself clearly? Did I ask what I needed to demonstrate? Did I understand the criteria? | | What were my intentions vs impact? | I intended to earn the promotion through work. Impact may have been that I was invisible about my ambitions. | | What do I not know? | Why the decision was made. What criteria mattered most. What feedback they would give me. | | What am I really feeling beneath this? | Fear that I'm not good enough. Grief that the future I planned isn't happening. | **The Delta (Story vs. Reality):** | SFD Said | Reality Is | |----------|------------| | "They don't value me" | Unknown - I haven't asked for feedback on what they see | | "The system is rigged" | Unknown - I don't know the criteria or reasoning | | "I'll never advance here" | One data point, not a pattern | | "I'm not cut out for leadership" | Not getting one promotion doesn't define capability | **New story after rumbling:** > "I didn't get a promotion I wanted badly. I don't fully understand why. My hurt is real. What I do next matters more than what happened." --- ### Stage 3: The Revolution **What I actually learned:** - I assumed hard work would be enough without advocating for myself - I don't actually know what the decision criteria were - My identity was too attached to this outcome - I need to get clearer information before making conclusions **How I own my part:** I could have asked more directly about what I needed to demonstrate. I may have assumed visibility when I should have ensured it. I didn't ask for feedback along the way. **What I do with the hurt:** The disappointment is real and valid. I'm going to let myself feel it without rushing past it. I'm also not going to let it become a story about my fundamental worth. **How I'll show up differently:** 1. Ask for specific feedback on the decision 2. Get clear criteria for future opportunities 3. Advocate more explicitly for my contributions 4. Detach my identity from single outcomes **Boundaries I need:** - I won't pretend I'm fine when I'm not - I will ask for feedback before making decisions about my future - I won't let resentment poison my work or relationships - I will give myself time to process before reacting **The new ending:** > "I didn't get the promotion. It hurts. I've learned I need to advocate more clearly and get better information. This setback doesn't define me. What I do next does." --- ### Integration Check **Am I trying to skip the middle?** Be honest - the urge to immediately job search or prove yourself might be avoiding the rumble. Sit with this process before acting. **What support do I need?** Talk to someone you trust who can sit with your disappointment without rushing to fix it or minimize it. **When will I check in with myself?** In one week, revisit this. See if the new story still feels true, or if more rumbling is needed. --- ## Integration This skill is part of the **Brene Brown** expert persona. It pairs well with: - **shame-resilience-check** when the setback triggers shame - **rumble-conversation** for the feedback conversation with decision-makers - **trust-assessment-braving** if trust has been damaged by the setback - **strategic-inflection-point-diagnosis** for deciding next career moves