# Self Reflect > Use when the user wants to reflect on themselves as a leader — behavior under pressure, communication, time and energy, leadership style, fulfillment, advocating for themselves, calendar review. Trigger phrases include "let me reflect on myself", "self-check", "I want to think about how I've been leading lately", "self-reflection". Loads `~/bettersense-work-reflections/self/reflections.md`, picks 1–3 self-reflection questions appropriate to the moment, guides the reflection, and writes the dated entry back. Mirrors `stakeholder-reflect` but aimed at the user themselves. - Skill: `shwetank/self-reflect` (Agent Skill) - Install (CLI): `npx skillmds@latest add shwetank/self-reflect` - Raw SKILL.md: https://api.skillmd.com/api/skills/shwetank/self-reflect/raw - Safety review: pending - Works with: Claude Code, Claude.ai, OpenAI Codex - Category: Product & Planning - Author: shwetank (https://skillmd.com/u/shwetank) - Updated: 2026-09-17 - Page: https://skillmd.com/skills/shwetank/self-reflect --- # Self-Reflect Reflect on the user themselves — leadership, behavior, fulfillment, calendar — and capture the result to `~/bettersense-work-reflections/self/reflections.md`. The shape mirrors `stakeholder-reflect`; the difference is the audience and the question pool. ## Exit signals If the user says "stop", "exit", "I'm done", "that's enough", "pause", or similar — end the session immediately and write whatever has been captured so far. Don't push for more. In the opening message, add one short sentence: *"You can say 'stop' at any time and we'll save what we have."* ## First-run setup If `~/bettersense-work-reflections/self/reflections.md` doesn't exist: 1. Create the `self/` directory under `$BETTERSENSE_WORK_REFLECTIONS_HOME`. 2. Initialize `reflections.md` with this frontmatter: ```markdown --- subject: self since: 2026-05-01 --- # Self-reflections ``` If `~/bettersense-work-reflections/` itself doesn't exist, hand off to `stakeholder-register` first — that skill owns the root setup and the privacy warning. ## Picking questions Filter `questions.json` (loaded from the `stakeholder-reflect` skill folder) to questions where `stakeholder_categories` includes `self`. The pool spans three families: - **General behaviour:** how the user behaves under pressure, communicates, gives/handles feedback, manages calendar. - **Leadership:** what makes them effective, how they're growing, what to work on. - **Current role:** compensation, fulfillment, time/energy, advocating for self, work environment, what they're unclear about. Default picker, when no specific topic given: 1. Compute due-ness same as `stakeholder-reflect`: `days_since_last / cadence_days`. 2. Apply variety: pick from at least two of the three families when picking 2+ questions. 3. Deprioritize anything answered in the last 7 days (self-reflection saturates faster than stakeholder reflection). 4. Take top N (default 2; 3 if "I have time"; 1 if "quick"). Show the picks before drilling in: > *"Here's what feels worth thinking about: 1) How well have you managed your time and energy recently? (biweekly cadence, last logged 3 weeks ago) 2) How are you handling feedback? (monthly cadence, never logged). Sound right?"* If the user named a topic ("specifically I want to think about advocating for myself"), skip the picker. ## Running the reflection Same shape as `stakeholder-reflect`, with self-specific adaptations: 1. **Surface the question's `subheading` and `things_to_consider` in full.** These are especially load-bearing for self-reflection — the prompts are short but the prompts-to-consider have most of the actual depth. 2. **Push past the comfortable answer.** Self-reflection tends toward two failure modes: false modesty ("I'm fine, nothing to work on") and false self-criticism ("I'm terrible at everything"). When you spot either, gently challenge it. *"You said you're 'fine' under pressure, but earlier you mentioned the Friday call where you snapped at the iOS lead — can we look at that?"* 3. **Reference past entries.** Self-reflections compound only when the user revisits them. *"Two months ago you wrote that you wanted to delegate more — has that shifted, and what specifically have you handed off?"* 4. **Specifically for `current-role` questions** (compensation, fulfillment, advocacy): take these seriously even when the user is glib. These are the questions people are most prone to skipping and most likely to regret skipping. ## Writing the entry Append to `~/bettersense-work-reflections/self/reflections.md` in the same per-question / per-date structure as stakeholder files. ```markdown ## How well have you managed your time and energy recently? [current-role, biweekly] ### 2026-05-01 Calendar over the last 2 weeks: 31 hrs of meetings (target was ≤24). Of those, 6 hrs were optional that I could have skipped. Energy: noticeably lower in the afternoons; I'm protecting mornings well but burning the back half of the day in low-stakes syncs. Action: cancel the standing Thursday product review I haven't actively contributed to in 5 weeks. Block 2-4pm Wednesdays for deep work and treat as inviolable. ``` Self-reflection entries should produce *actions or commitments* more often than stakeholder entries do — because the user is the only person who can act on them. Encourage this; write the action down explicitly. ## Composing with other skills - **If self-reflection surfaces feedback to give to someone else** (e.g. "I realize I'm avoiding telling Priya she's underperforming") → offer to switch to `stakeholder-reflect` or `feedback-frameworks`. - **If it surfaces a decision** (e.g. "I'm going to push for a promo") → offer to invoke `decision-log`. - **If it surfaces a leadership behavior the user wants to change** → after a few entries on the same theme, invite a `stakeholder-synthesize` over the self file with that lens. Don't force these. Most self-reflection sessions just need to land cleanly. ## Operating principles - **Honesty over performance.** Self-reflection that sounds like it could be read out at a performance review isn't doing real work. Encourage the user to be candid; the file is private. - **Concrete observations, not labels.** "I lost my temper Tuesday at 3pm in the cross-functional review when the eng director cut me off" is useful. "I'm impatient" is not. - **Action-orientation, not performative resolutions.** "I'll be a better listener" is a non-commitment. "I will not respond to anyone for 5 seconds after they finish a sentence in tomorrow's standup" is a commitment. - **Cadence respect.** Self-reflection daily is grinding, not growth. Weekly to bi-weekly is the sweet spot for most people. - **Don't double up with therapy.** This skill is for getting more effective at work. Real distress, burnout, or mental health concerns belong with a professional, not a markdown file. ## Anti-patterns to flag - **Vague gratitude lists.** "Grateful for my team this week." Push for one specific person and one specific moment. - **Resolutions as a substitute for reflection.** Long lists of "I should…" with no observation behind them are aspirational, not reflective. Anchor every resolution to a concrete recent observation. - **Skipping the same question every time.** If the user keeps deflecting `compensation` or `advocating for yourself` or `handling feedback`, that pattern is itself reflective material. Surface it gently. - **Reframing critique as praise.** "I struggle with delegation" → "I care deeply about quality." That's a dodge. Call it. - **Logging without revisiting.** Recommend that the user run `stakeholder-synthesize` on their self file once a month or so. The compounding insight is in the rereading, not the writing.