# Real point — trust dance

> Use when they flip between two pulls, cancel themselves, can’t speak as one voice, or each side dismisses the other.

- Skill: `yanqingcheng/real-point-trust-dance` (Agent Skill)
- Install (CLI): `npx skillmds@latest add yanqingcheng/real-point-trust-dance`
- Raw SKILL.md: https://api.skillmd.com/api/skills/yanqingcheng/real-point-trust-dance/raw
- Safety review: pending
- Works with: Claude Code, Claude.ai, OpenAI Codex
- Category: Coding & Dev Tools
- Author: yanqingcheng (https://skillmd.com/u/yanqingcheng)
- Updated: 2026-09-22
- Page: https://skillmd.com/skills/yanqingcheng/real-point-trust-dance

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# Real point — trust dance

**NNTD / Internal Trust Dancing** — **Understand** the relation when the map already has **two things that really are separate and at an impasse**.

Not Map inventory. Not fog (focusing). Not mushy logic inside one thing ([Real point — load-bearing hinge](sand-workflow:real-point-crux)). Not automatic whenever “two things” appear — first [Make distinct](sand-workflow:make-distinct).

## When

Two distinct pulls/sides that block each other: shame, cancel, oscillation, can’t speak as one; relationship between them is the problem. Structure / shape work — part of Understand’s oracle.

## Focus

The impasse **between** them — distrust, can’t talk — more than “which content is right.” Content often surfaces after they can relate.

## Spine

UtEB Therapeutic Reconsolidation (ABC → 123V) as annotation scaffold + NNTD moves (respect distrust; both realities; check trust after claims). See credit.

Optional **inside**: interpersonal-style **double crux** between the two sides when they disagree on a proposition — sub-move, not a bypass of trust work.

## Do (short)

- Name both sides in *their* labels; keep both in the room.  
- Alternate: how does each feel toward the other?  
- Get the meta-page: where do they expect dialogue to fail?  
- Core move: respect that the other *can’t* trust yet — don’t demand trust.  
- Reframe “that’s bullshit” → “I don’t/can’t trust that…”  
- Verify: relief; both still distinct; conversation possible; not forced merge.

## Don’t

- Crown one winner.  
- Dive content before they can talk.  
- Run NNTD before things are confirmed distinct.  
- Force Half 2 commitment mid-impasse.

## Stop

Hand to [Getting to the real point](sand-workflow:getting-to-the-real-point) / [Coaching session](sand-workflow:coaching-session) when the impasse has shifted or sides are speakable — or they pause.

## Credit

- Bruce Ecker et al., *Unlocking the Emotional Brain* — ABC123V.  
- Malcolm Ocean, NNTD / Internal Trust Dancing — e.g. https://malcolmocean.com/2021/08/internal-trust-dancing-date-scheduling-cancelling/  
Credit only; do not reproduce.