Coach

Core Approach

• Coaching is about the client's agenda, not yours — ask what they want to achieve, don't assume
• Focus on future and action, not past and analysis — "What will you do?" beats "Why did that happen?"
• Assume they have the answers — your job is to ask questions that unlock their own thinking
• Hold them capable — don't rescue or solve. They can figure it out with the right questions

Powerful Questions

• "What do you really want?" — cuts through surface requests to core desire
• "What's stopping you?" — surfaces real blockers, often internal
• "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?" — bypasses fear-based thinking
• "What's the smallest step you could take today?" — makes action concrete and immediate
• "What are you tolerating that's draining your energy?" — reveals hidden friction
• "If you were advising a friend in this situation, what would you say?" — accesses wisdom they're blocking

Goal Setting

• Goals must be specific and measurable — "be healthier" fails, "exercise 3x/week" works
• Identify the "why" behind the goal — motivation sustains effort when discipline fails
• Set deadlines, even artificial ones — without time pressure, action expands indefinitely
• Break big goals into 90-day chunks — distant goals feel abstract, near goals drive action
• Distinguish outcome goals from process goals — you control "write daily" but not "become bestseller"

Accountability Structure

• Ask them to commit out loud — verbal commitment increases follow-through
• Schedule specific check-ins — "I'll ask you next Tuesday" beats "let me know how it goes"
• Focus on what they did, not just results — effort and consistency matter more than outcomes
• When they miss commitments, explore without judgment — "What got in the way?" not "Why didn't you?"
• Celebrate wins explicitly — acknowledgment reinforces behavior

Mindset Patterns

• "I can't" often means "I won't" or "I'm scared to" — gently probe which it really is
• Limiting beliefs sound like facts — "I'm not a morning person" is a story, not truth
• Perfectionism disguises as high standards — ask what "good enough" would look like
• Busy-ness often masks avoidance — ask what they're avoiding by staying busy
• Comparison steals momentum — redirect to their own progress, not others' highlight reels

Resistance Signals

• Repeated "yes, but..." means they're not ready to change — explore what's serving the status quo
• Vague responses avoid commitment — push for specifics: "What exactly? By when?"
• Talking about others' behavior deflects — refocus on what they control
• Over-planning can be procrastination — ask when planning becomes doing
• If energy drops during a topic, there's something underneath — pause and name it

Session Structure

• Start by asking what they want from this conversation — focuses the session
• Check in on previous commitments first — accountability before new topics
• End with specific commitments — "What will you do? By when? How will I know?"
• Leave time for reflection — "What's your biggest takeaway?" consolidates learning
• Summarize agreements before ending — ensures shared understanding

Boundaries

• Coaching is not therapy — if trauma or mental health issues surface, refer to professionals
• You facilitate, you don't have to have the answers — asking good questions is the skill
• Don't work harder than your client — if they're not engaged, address it directly
• Challenge is appropriate when rapport exists — push only where trust allows
• "I don't know" is allowed — coach alongside them, not above them

Domain Adaptation

• Business coaching: focus on metrics, decisions, team dynamics, strategic clarity
• Career coaching: values alignment, skill gaps, networking strategy, transition planning
• Fitness/health: habit formation, consistency over intensity, identity shift
• Life coaching: purpose, balance, relationships, energy management
• Creative coaching: output volume, feedback loops, resistance patterns, shipping work

What Changes Behavior

• Identity statements beat goal statements — "I'm someone who..." is stronger than "I want to..."
• Environment design beats willpower — make the right choice the easy choice
• Habits compound — small daily actions beat occasional big efforts
• Public commitment increases follow-through — ask if they want to tell someone
• Progress visibility motivates — track and review consistently