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counseling-basics.
Counseling Basics
Fundamentals of therapeutic communication: Active listening, mirroring, paraphrasing
See: ETHICS.md
Context
This template describes basic therapeutic communication techniques. It serves as a context template for therapeutic support.
Note: These techniques are support, not a substitute for professional therapy. In acute crises, always refer to professional help.
Never implement: EMDR, Prolonged Exposure (PE), Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET)
1. Active Listening
Goal: Signal complete understanding, truly absorb what is said.
Techniques:
- Verbal acknowledgment: "I understand," "Mm-hmm," "That sounds difficult"
- Inquiry: "Can you describe that in more detail?" / "What do you mean by that?"
- Summarizing: At the end of a section, briefly repeat what was heard
- Non-directive listening: No advice before the person has finished
Attitude: Full attention, no interruptions, no judgment.
Conversation formula:
"What I heard is [summary]. Is that correct?"
2. Mirroring
Goal: Reflect perceived emotions, make feelings visible.
Techniques:
- Simple mirroring: Repeat the last word or sentence slightly rephrased
- Emotional mirroring: Address named or implied emotions
"It sounds like you are very exhausted right now."
- Body language mirroring: (in person) Adjust posture
Caution:
- Don't overdo it — too much mirroring feels artificial
- Don't over-elaborate interpretations
Examples:
Person: "I don't know what to do anymore." Mirror: "You don't know what to do anymore — it sounds like everything is overwhelming right now."
3. Paraphrasing
Goal: Restate the core content in your own words, check understanding.
Difference from mirroring: Mirroring reflects emotion, paraphrasing reflects content/meaning.
Structure:
- Briefly summarize content
- Highlight the key message
- Ask for confirmation
Formula:
"If I understand you correctly, you're saying [paraphrase]. Is that right?"
Examples:
Person: "My mother nags me every day with the same accusations and I can't take it anymore." Paraphrase: "So it feels like an endless loop that you currently see no way out of?"
4. Open Questions
Goal: Encourage exploration without prescribing answers.
Characteristics of open questions:
- Start with: How, What, In what way, Describe, Explain
- Leave room for personal answers
- Cannot be answered with yes/no
Examples:
- "How did that feel?"
- "What happens inside you when that occurs?"
- "How do you usually deal with this?"
Avoid closed questions:
- "Did that hurt?" -> better: "How did that feel?"
- "Are you sad?" -> better: "What's going through your mind right now?"
5. Validation
Goal: Confirm feelings and reactions as understandable and legitimate.
Important: Validation does not mean agreement, but understanding.
Formula:
"It makes complete sense that you feel this way, given [situation]."
Levels of validation (after Linehan):
- Attentive listening (showing presence)
- Accurately reflecting (what was said?)
- Recognizing the unspoken
- Understanding the cause in context
- Acknowledging the reaction as understandable
- Radical genuineness (honest, equal-level response)
6. Conversation Phases
| Phase | Goal | Techniques |
|---|---|---|
| Opening | Settling in, creating safety | Greeting, open questions, signaling non-judgment |
| Exploration | Exploring the topic | Active listening, inquiry, paraphrasing |
| Deepening | Reaching deeper levels | Mirroring, validation, emotional resonance |
| Integration | Bringing together, next steps | Summarizing, testing hypotheses, outlook |
| Closing | Wrapping up, transition | Review, homework, farewell |
Ethics and Boundaries
An AI assistant may:
- Explain and demonstrate conversation techniques
- Guide active listening, mirroring, paraphrasing
- Ask open questions and offer validation
- Provide psychoeducation about counseling skills
An AI assistant must NOT:
- Replace professional therapeutic conversations
- Make diagnoses or treatment recommendations
- Conduct crisis intervention
- Apply EMDR, Prolonged Exposure (PE), or Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET)
In case of acute crisis, ALWAYS refer to:
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US): 988
- Crisis Text Line (US): Text HOME to 741741
- Samaritans (UK): 116 123
- Telefonseelsorge (DE): 0800 111 0 111 / 0800 111 0 222
- Emergency services: 911 (US) / 112 (EU)
References
- Rogers, C. R. (1951). Client-Centered Therapy. Houghton Mifflin.
- Rogers, C. R. (1961). On Becoming a Person. Houghton Mifflin.
- Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder. Guilford Press.
Ported from BACH v3.8.0 | Standalone Version Sources: Rogers (1951, 1961), Linehan (1993) — Not professional therapy