Skill: Coaching Techniques
GROW model, active listening, developmental feedback, and team growth approaches.
Metadata
| Field |
Value |
| Skill ID |
coaching-techniques |
| Version |
1.0.0 |
| Category |
Leadership |
| Difficulty |
Intermediate |
| Prerequisites |
None |
| Related Skills |
stakeholder-management, frustration-recognition |
Overview
Coaching develops people's capability rather than directing their actions. Effective coaching unlocks potential, builds ownership, and creates sustainable performance improvement.
Coaching vs. Other Approaches
| Approach |
When to Use |
Leader's Role |
| Telling |
Crisis, safety, no time |
Expert, director |
| Teaching |
Skill gap, new domain |
Instructor |
| Mentoring |
Career development |
Sharing experience |
| Coaching |
Capability exists, needs unlocking |
Partner, facilitator |
The Core Principle
Ask, don't tell. The coachee holds the answers; your job is to help them find those answers.
Module 1: The GROW Model
Framework Overview
| Phase |
Purpose |
Key Questions |
| Goal |
Clarify desired outcome |
"What do you want to achieve?" |
| Reality |
Explore current situation |
"Where are you now?" |
| Options |
Generate possibilities |
"What could you do?" |
| Will |
Commit to action |
"What will you do?" |
Goal Phase Questions
- "What would you like to focus on today?"
- "What outcome do you want from this conversation?"
- "How will you know you've achieved it?"
- "Why is this important to you now?"
- "What would success look like?"
Reality Phase Questions
- "What's happening currently?"
- "What have you tried so far?"
- "What's working? What isn't?"
- "What obstacles are in the way?"
- "On a scale of 1-10, where are you now?"
- "What resources do you already have?"
Options Phase Questions
- "What options do you see?"
- "What else could you do?"
- "If you had unlimited resources, what would you try?"
- "What would you advise a friend in this situation?"
- "What's the opposite approach?"
- "Which options appeal to you most?"
Will Phase Questions
- "Which option will you pursue?"
- "When will you do this?"
- "What's your first step?"
- "What support do you need?"
- "How will you hold yourself accountable?"
- "On a scale of 1-10, how committed are you?"
Module 2: Active Listening
The Three Levels of Listening
| Level |
Focus |
Quality |
| 1. Internal |
Your own thoughts, reactions |
Minimal presence |
| 2. Focused |
The speaker's words, emotions |
Good coaching |
| 3. Global |
Energy, unspoken, environment |
Masterful coaching |
Active Listening Techniques
| Technique |
Purpose |
Example |
| Paraphrasing |
Confirm understanding |
"So you're saying..." |
| Reflecting feeling |
Acknowledge emotion |
"It sounds frustrating that..." |
| Summarizing |
Consolidate key points |
"The main issues are X, Y, Z" |
| Clarifying |
Ensure precision |
"When you say X, what do you mean?" |
| Silence |
Create space |
Pause, wait |
Non-Verbal Awareness
| Signal |
What It May Mean |
| Eye contact breaks |
Discomfort, thinking |
| Changed breathing |
Emotion, stress |
| Posture shift |
Engagement change |
| Voice tone shift |
Emotional content |
| Fidgeting |
Anxiety, boredom |
Listening Blockers
| Blocker |
Problem |
Alternative |
| Advising |
Removes ownership |
Ask what they think |
| Interrupting |
Shuts down exploration |
Wait, summarize |
| Evaluating |
Kills candor |
Stay neutral |
| Problem-solving |
Takes over |
Ask for their solution |
Module 3: Powerful Questions
Question Characteristics
| Characteristic |
Description |
| Open-ended |
Can't be answered yes/no |
| Curious |
Genuinely explore, not lead |
| Simple |
One question at a time |
| Forward-focused |
Action-oriented when appropriate |
Question Types
| Type |
Purpose |
Examples |
| Clarifying |
Understand better |
"What do you mean by...?" |
| Deepening |
Explore further |
"What's behind that?" |
| Challenging |
Test assumptions |
"What if that's not true?" |
| Possibility |
Open up options |
"What else might work?" |
| Action |
Move to commitment |
"What's your next step?" |
Questions to Avoid
| Question Type |
Problem |
Better Version |
| "Why did you...?" |
Feels judgmental |
"What led to that decision?" |
| "Have you tried X?" |
Leading/advising |
"What have you considered?" |
| "Don't you think...?" |
Puts words in mouth |
"What do you think?" |
| Multiple questions |
Confusing |
One question, wait |
Module 4: Feedback for Development
The SBI Model
| Element |
Description |
Example |
| Situation |
When and where |
"In yesterday's team meeting..." |
| Behavior |
Observable action |
"...when you interrupted Sarah..." |
| Impact |
Effect on you/others |
"...the team seemed reluctant to share after that" |
Feedforward (Marshall Goldsmith)
Instead of critiquing the past, suggest for the future:
- Pick one behavior to improve
- Ask for suggestions (not feedback)
- Listen without defending
- Thank without evaluating
Example: "I want to be better at running inclusive meetings. What one suggestion do you have?"
Receiving Feedback
| Step |
Action |
| Listen |
Don't interrupt or defend |
| Clarify |
Ask for examples if needed |
| Thank |
Appreciate the effort |
| Reflect |
Consider validity privately |
| Act |
Make visible improvements |
Praise Effectively
| Weak Praise |
Strong Praise |
| "Good job" |
"The way you handled that objection showed real preparation" |
| "You're smart" |
"Your analysis surfaced issues nobody else caught" |
| Generic |
Specific behavior + impact |
Module 5: Coaching Difficult Moments
When Coachee is Stuck
| Symptom |
Intervention |
| "I don't know" |
"If you did know, what might it be?" |
| Going in circles |
"Let's step back—what's the real issue?" |
| Avoidance |
"What are you not saying?" |
| Overwhelm |
"What's the smallest first step?" |
Resistance Patterns
| Pattern |
Possible Cause |
Response |
| Deflecting |
Fear of accountability |
Gently redirect |
| Intellectualizing |
Avoiding emotion |
"How do you feel about that?" |
| Blaming others |
Avoiding ownership |
"What's your part in this?" |
| Pessimism |
Learned helplessness |
Focus on what IS in control |
When Coaching Isn't Appropriate
| Situation |
Better Approach |
| Performance crisis |
Direct feedback, clear expectations |
| Skill gap (unknown) |
Teaching, training |
| Values misalignment |
Honest conversation about fit |
| Unwilling coachee |
Don't force it |
Module 6: Coaching Cadence
Regular Coaching Rhythms
| Type |
Frequency |
Duration |
Focus |
| 1:1 |
Weekly |
30-60 min |
Ongoing development |
| Project |
As needed |
15-30 min |
Specific challenge |
| Career |
Quarterly |
60 min |
Long-term growth |
| On-the-spot |
Moment arises |
5-10 min |
Immediate learning |
1:1 Structure
| Phase |
Time |
Content |
| Check-in |
5 min |
How are you? What's on your mind? |
| Coachee agenda |
20 min |
Their topics (GROW) |
| Your agenda |
10 min |
Updates, context-setting |
| Actions |
5 min |
Commitments, next steps |
Documentation
Track coaching conversations:
- Date and duration
- Topics discussed
- Key insights
- Commitments made
- Follow-up items
Quick Reference
GROW Cheat Sheet
G: What do you want?
R: Where are you now?
O: What could you do?
W: What will you do?
Coaching Checklist
Phrases That Work
| Situation |
Phrase |
| Opening |
"What's most important to discuss today?" |
| Deepening |
"Tell me more about that" |
| Exploring |
"What else?" |
| Challenging |
"What's stopping you?" |
| Committing |
"What's your first step?" |
| Checking in |
"How committed are you, 1-10?" |
Red Flags in Coaching
| Flag |
Issue |
| You're talking more than 30% |
Too directive |
| Giving lots of advice |
Not coaching |
| Coachee seems defeated |
May need different support |
| Same topic every session |
Not making progress |
Activation Patterns
| Trigger |
Response |
| "coaching", "GROW", "develop someone" |
Full skill activation |
| "feedback", "difficult conversation" |
Module 4 |
| "stuck", "not making progress" |
Module 5 |
| "1:1", "one on one" |
Module 6 |
| "listen better", "questions" |
Module 2-3 |
Skill created: 2026-02-10 | Category: Leadership | Status: Active
1---2name: coaching-techniques3description: GROW model, active listening, developmental feedback, and team growth approaches4---5
6# Skill: Coaching Techniques
7
8
9> GROW model, active listening, developmental feedback, and team growth approaches.
10
11## Metadata
12
13| Field | Value |
14|-------|-------|
15| **Skill ID** | coaching-techniques |
16| **Version** | 1.0.0 |
17| **Category** | Leadership |
18| **Difficulty** | Intermediate |
19| **Prerequisites** | None |
20| **Related Skills** | stakeholder-management, frustration-recognition |
21
22---
23
24## Overview
25
26Coaching develops people's capability rather than directing their actions. Effective coaching unlocks potential, builds ownership, and creates sustainable performance improvement.
27
28### Coaching vs. Other Approaches
29
30| Approach | When to Use | Leader's Role |
31|----------|-------------|---------------|
32| **Telling** | Crisis, safety, no time | Expert, director |
33| **Teaching** | Skill gap, new domain | Instructor |
34| **Mentoring** | Career development | Sharing experience |
35| **Coaching** | Capability exists, needs unlocking | Partner, facilitator |
36
37### The Core Principle
38
39> **Ask, don't tell. The coachee holds the answers; your job is to help them find those answers.**
40
41---
42
43## Module 1: The GROW Model
44
45### Framework Overview
46
47| Phase | Purpose | Key Questions |
48|-------|---------|---------------|
49| **G**oal | Clarify desired outcome | "What do you want to achieve?" |
50| **R**eality | Explore current situation | "Where are you now?" |
51| **O**ptions | Generate possibilities | "What could you do?" |
52| **W**ill | Commit to action | "What will you do?" |
53
54### Goal Phase Questions
55
56- "What would you like to focus on today?"
57- "What outcome do you want from this conversation?"
58- "How will you know you've achieved it?"
59- "Why is this important to you now?"
60- "What would success look like?"
61
62### Reality Phase Questions
63
64- "What's happening currently?"
65- "What have you tried so far?"
66- "What's working? What isn't?"
67- "What obstacles are in the way?"
68- "On a scale of 1-10, where are you now?"
69- "What resources do you already have?"
70
71### Options Phase Questions
72
73- "What options do you see?"
74- "What else could you do?"
75- "If you had unlimited resources, what would you try?"
76- "What would you advise a friend in this situation?"
77- "What's the opposite approach?"
78- "Which options appeal to you most?"
79
80### Will Phase Questions
81
82- "Which option will you pursue?"
83- "When will you do this?"
84- "What's your first step?"
85- "What support do you need?"
86- "How will you hold yourself accountable?"
87- "On a scale of 1-10, how committed are you?"
88
89---
90
91## Module 2: Active Listening
92
93### The Three Levels of Listening
94
95| Level | Focus | Quality |
96|-------|-------|---------|
97| **1. Internal** | Your own thoughts, reactions | Minimal presence |
98| **2. Focused** | The speaker's words, emotions | Good coaching |
99| **3. Global** | Energy, unspoken, environment | Masterful coaching |
100
101### Active Listening Techniques
102
103| Technique | Purpose | Example |
104|-----------|---------|---------|
105| **Paraphrasing** | Confirm understanding | "So you're saying..." |
106| **Reflecting feeling** | Acknowledge emotion | "It sounds frustrating that..." |
107| **Summarizing** | Consolidate key points | "The main issues are X, Y, Z" |
108| **Clarifying** | Ensure precision | "When you say X, what do you mean?" |
109| **Silence** | Create space | *Pause, wait* |
110
111### Non-Verbal Awareness
112
113| Signal | What It May Mean |
114|--------|------------------|
115| Eye contact breaks | Discomfort, thinking |
116| Changed breathing | Emotion, stress |
117| Posture shift | Engagement change |
118| Voice tone shift | Emotional content |
119| Fidgeting | Anxiety, boredom |
120
121### Listening Blockers
122
123| Blocker | Problem | Alternative |
124|---------|---------|-------------|
125| Advising | Removes ownership | Ask what they think |
126| Interrupting | Shuts down exploration | Wait, summarize |
127| Evaluating | Kills candor | Stay neutral |
128| Problem-solving | Takes over | Ask for their solution |
129
130---
131
132## Module 3: Powerful Questions
133
134### Question Characteristics
135
136| Characteristic | Description |
137|----------------|-------------|
138| **Open-ended** | Can't be answered yes/no |
139| **Curious** | Genuinely explore, not lead |
140| **Simple** | One question at a time |
141| **Forward-focused** | Action-oriented when appropriate |
142
143### Question Types
144
145| Type | Purpose | Examples |
146|------|---------|----------|
147| **Clarifying** | Understand better | "What do you mean by...?" |
148| **Deepening** | Explore further | "What's behind that?" |
149| **Challenging** | Test assumptions | "What if that's not true?" |
150| **Possibility** | Open up options | "What else might work?" |
151| **Action** | Move to commitment | "What's your next step?" |
152
153### Questions to Avoid
154
155| Question Type | Problem | Better Version |
156|---------------|---------|----------------|
157| "Why did you...?" | Feels judgmental | "What led to that decision?" |
158| "Have you tried X?" | Leading/advising | "What have you considered?" |
159| "Don't you think...?" | Puts words in mouth | "What do you think?" |
160| Multiple questions | Confusing | One question, wait |
161
162---
163
164## Module 4: Feedback for Development
165
166### The SBI Model
167
168| Element | Description | Example |
169|---------|-------------|---------|
170| **S**ituation | When and where | "In yesterday's team meeting..." |
171| **B**ehavior | Observable action | "...when you interrupted Sarah..." |
172| **I**mpact | Effect on you/others | "...the team seemed reluctant to share after that" |
173
174### Feedforward (Marshall Goldsmith)
175
176Instead of critiquing the past, suggest for the future:
177
1781. Pick one behavior to improve
1792. Ask for suggestions (not feedback)
1803. Listen without defending
1814. Thank without evaluating
182
183**Example**: "I want to be better at running inclusive meetings. What one suggestion do you have?"
184
185### Receiving Feedback
186
187| Step | Action |
188|------|--------|
189| **Listen** | Don't interrupt or defend |
190| **Clarify** | Ask for examples if needed |
191| **Thank** | Appreciate the effort |
192| **Reflect** | Consider validity privately |
193| **Act** | Make visible improvements |
194
195### Praise Effectively
196
197| Weak Praise | Strong Praise |
198|-------------|---------------|
199| "Good job" | "The way you handled that objection showed real preparation" |
200| "You're smart" | "Your analysis surfaced issues nobody else caught" |
201| Generic | Specific behavior + impact |
202
203---
204
205## Module 5: Coaching Difficult Moments
206
207### When Coachee is Stuck
208
209| Symptom | Intervention |
210|---------|--------------|
211| "I don't know" | "If you did know, what might it be?" |
212| Going in circles | "Let's step back—what's the real issue?" |
213| Avoidance | "What are you not saying?" |
214| Overwhelm | "What's the smallest first step?" |
215
216### Resistance Patterns
217
218| Pattern | Possible Cause | Response |
219|---------|----------------|----------|
220| Deflecting | Fear of accountability | Gently redirect |
221| Intellectualizing | Avoiding emotion | "How do you feel about that?" |
222| Blaming others | Avoiding ownership | "What's your part in this?" |
223| Pessimism | Learned helplessness | Focus on what IS in control |
224
225### When Coaching Isn't Appropriate
226
227| Situation | Better Approach |
228|-----------|-----------------|
229| Performance crisis | Direct feedback, clear expectations |
230| Skill gap (unknown) | Teaching, training |
231| Values misalignment | Honest conversation about fit |
232| Unwilling coachee | Don't force it |
233
234---
235
236## Module 6: Coaching Cadence
237
238### Regular Coaching Rhythms
239
240| Type | Frequency | Duration | Focus |
241|------|-----------|----------|-------|
242| **1:1** | Weekly | 30-60 min | Ongoing development |
243| **Project** | As needed | 15-30 min | Specific challenge |
244| **Career** | Quarterly | 60 min | Long-term growth |
245| **On-the-spot** | Moment arises | 5-10 min | Immediate learning |
246
247### 1:1 Structure
248
249| Phase | Time | Content |
250|-------|------|---------|
251| **Check-in** | 5 min | How are you? What's on your mind? |
252| **Coachee agenda** | 20 min | Their topics (GROW) |
253| **Your agenda** | 10 min | Updates, context-setting |
254| **Actions** | 5 min | Commitments, next steps |
255
256### Documentation
257
258Track coaching conversations:
259
260- Date and duration
261- Topics discussed
262- Key insights
263- Commitments made
264- Follow-up items
265
266---
267
268## Quick Reference
269
270### GROW Cheat Sheet
271
272```
273G: What do you want?
274R: Where are you now?
275O: What could you do?
276W: What will you do?
277```
278
279### Coaching Checklist
280
281- [ ] Created safe space
282- [ ] More listening than talking (80/20)
283- [ ] Asked open questions
284- [ ] Avoided giving advice
285- [ ] Explored options together
286- [ ] Coachee owns the answer
287- [ ] Clear commitment made
288- [ ] Follow-up scheduled
289
290### Phrases That Work
291
292| Situation | Phrase |
293|-----------|--------|
294| Opening | "What's most important to discuss today?" |
295| Deepening | "Tell me more about that" |
296| Exploring | "What else?" |
297| Challenging | "What's stopping you?" |
298| Committing | "What's your first step?" |
299| Checking in | "How committed are you, 1-10?" |
300
301### Red Flags in Coaching
302
303| Flag | Issue |
304|------|-------|
305| You're talking more than 30% | Too directive |
306| Giving lots of advice | Not coaching |
307| Coachee seems defeated | May need different support |
308| Same topic every session | Not making progress |
309
310---
311
312## Activation Patterns
313
314| Trigger | Response |
315|---------|----------|
316| "coaching", "GROW", "develop someone" | Full skill activation |
317| "feedback", "difficult conversation" | Module 4 |
318| "stuck", "not making progress" | Module 5 |
319| "1:1", "one on one" | Module 6 |
320| "listen better", "questions" | Module 2-3 |
321
322---
323
324*Skill created: 2026-02-10 | Category: Leadership | Status: Active*
325
326---