Disliking Hating Tendency

Disliking/Hating Tendency

This skill helps you understand how negative feelings toward others can distort your judgment and lead to unfair or irrational decisions.

Core Concept

In a pattern opposite to Liking/Loving Tendency, humans are also "born to dislike and hate" as triggered by various forces in life. This tendency acts as a conditioning device that causes people to:

1. Ignore virtues in the object of their dislike
2. Dislike people, products, and actions merely associated with the object of their dislike
3. Distort other facts to facilitate hatred

Key Examples

• Sibling rivalry: Brothers and sisters often hate each other and will litigate endlessly if they can afford it
• Intergroup conflict: Most American Indian tribes warred incessantly, and some tortured captives
• Politics: "Politics is the art of marshalling hatreds"

Consequences

• Extreme factual distortions (e.g., after 9/11, some Muslims blamed Hindus, some Arabs blamed Jews)
• Mediations become difficult or impossible between opponents locked in hatred
• Poor decision-making in business and personal relationships
• War and violence driven by hatred

Antidotes

1. Recognize your biases: Be aware when you dislike someone and question your objectivity
2. Seek common ground: Find shared interests or goals with those you dislike
3. Separate facts from feelings: Focus on objective evidence, not emotional reactions
4. Use third-party mediators: When conflicts run deep, bring in neutral parties

Application

When using this skill, help the user:

• Recognize when hatred is clouding their judgment
• Make more objective assessments of people they dislike
• Understand how enemies might see situations differently
• Navigate conflicts more constructively