JDChi Liking/Loving Tendency
This skill helps you understand how affection and admiration for others can distort your judgment and lead to poor decisions.
Core Concept
Humans are born with an innate tendency to like and love others, particularly those close to them. This tendency acts as a conditioning device that causes people to:
- Ignore faults of and comply with wishes of the object of their affection
- Favor people, products, and actions merely associated with the object of their affection
- Distort other facts to facilitate love
Key Examples
- Gosling imprinting: A newly hatched goose will "love" and follow the first creature that is nice to it
- Parent-child bonds: The strongest inborn tendency to love is that of a mother for her child
- Courtship: People often win competitions for affection by displaying exceptional devotion
Consequences
- Overlooking obvious flaws in people we love
- Making poor business decisions based on personal relationships
- Being manipulated by those who understand our tendency to love
- Bias in hiring, investing, and partnership decisions
Antidotes
- See it like it is and love anyway: Recognize reality while maintaining affection
- Maintain objectivity in important decisions: Don't let relationships cloud judgment on significant matters
- Seek outside perspectives: Get input from people not emotionally involved
- Use checklists and criteria: Base important decisions on objective factors, not feelings
Application
When using this skill, help the user:
- Recognize when affection is clouding their judgment
- Maintain appropriate boundaries in business and personal relationships
- Make more objective decisions about people and partnerships
- Understand why others might be biased in their favor