KudoMetrics-Techologies-Private-Limited Sales Framework — Goatherders + Ramachandran
Sales = People + Problems. Not technology. Not features. Not your quota.
When to Use
Load this skill when:
- Writing landing page or homepage copy
- Drafting a pitch, proposal, or cold outreach
- Setting pricing or positioning
- Analyzing whether a product/service will sell
- Reviewing conversion copy for sales psychology gaps
- Writing anything that needs to persuade, not just inform
Quick Diagnostic (Run This First)
Before writing any sales copy, answer 3 questions:
- Which of the 4 things are they buying? (time, money, sex, approval/peace of mind)
- Is it aspirin or vitamins? (urgent pain relief → aspirin. nice-to-have → vitamins. Sell aspirin.)
- Have you learned their world yet? (If not, stop writing and research first.)
The 7 Principles (goatherders, 20yr sales veteran)
Source: Hacker News comment by "goatherders" (May 2020), a 20-year sales org builder. These are practitioner principles, not theory.
1. Keep It Simple — Walk Up and Hit the Ball
"Sales is a lot like golf. You can make it so complicated as to be impossible or you can simply walk up and hit the ball." Application: If your pitch can't fit on a napkin, it's too complex. Cut until it hurts.
2. People + Problem Solving
"Sales is about people and it's about problem solving. It is not about solutions or technology or chemicals or lines of code or artichokes." Application: Every feature section must translate to a problem-solved. Never lead with technology.
3. The 4 Things People Buy (And ONLY These 4)
Time. Money. Sex. Approval / Peace of Mind. "If you try selling something other than those 4 things you will fail." Application: Every headline and CTA must map to one of these four. If it doesn't, rewrite it.
4. Sell Aspirin, Not Vitamins
"People buy aspirin always. They buy vitamins only occasionally and at unpredictable times. Sell aspirin." Application: Position your product as pain relief (immediate, urgent) not improvement (nice-to-have, deferrable). What pain does your customer feel RIGHT NOW that you solve?
5. People Buy From Friends
"All things being equal people buy from their friends. So make everything else equal then go make a lot of friends." Application: Copy should feel like advice from a trusted friend, not a sales pitch. Write like you talk. Be helpful before you ask for anything.
6. Be Consistently Useful, Expect Nothing
"Help people out. Send interesting posts. Write birthday cards. Record videos sharing your ideas for growing their business. Introduce people who would benefit from knowing each other then get out of the way, expecting nothing in return. Do this consistently and authentically and people will find ways to give you money. I promise." Application: Every touchpoint should ADD value. No "just checking in." Always give something.
7. No One Cares About Your Problems
"No one cares about your quota, your payroll, your opex, your burn rate, etc. No one. They care about the problem you are solving for them." Application: Strip all "we" statements from copy. Replace with "you" statements. Your company story is only relevant if it serves their problem.
Ramachandran Additions (CXO Deal-maker, 15yr)
Shared by Ramachandran, Sathish's college friend who has closed $1M+ deals at the CXO level for 15+ years.
Learn Their World First
"Sales — for me is learn my prospects world. Understand his challenges/problem, see if you can help address that. Simple as that." Application: Immerse before you pitch. Use customer interviews, reviews, and support tickets to mirror real language. Don't guess what they want — use their actual words.
CXOs Don't Care About Features
"When you sell to the CXO's — they don't care about your features or product name etc. all they care about is, will it make their world better? Save/make more money for them." Application: At the decision-maker level, the only question is: "Does this make my world better?" Every section of copy must answer that implicitly or explicitly.
Sales = Cricket 🏏
"I love sales coz, I see it like sports. Not all days are same. Some days you win, some days you lose. But every day is different. Like cricket you could score a 100 today. But when you play the next game you start at 0. And it is a totally different game, diff pitch, diff bowlers. Everything diff. You lose more than you win, but you get better every day, every day is new." Application for copy: Every page, every CTA, every campaign is a fresh innings. What worked last time may not work now. Test. Iterate. Don't get attached. The score resets.
Application to Landing Pages
| Principle | Landing Page Application |
|---|---|
| Sell aspirin | Hero section: name the pain immediately. "Tired of..." / "Stop losing..." |
| 4 things | Above-fold copy must answer "which of the 4?" within 3 seconds |
| Features → problems | Every feature listed should translate to "so you don't have to..." |
| CXO lens | "Will this make their world better?" test every section |
| Write like a friend | Strip jargon. Read aloud. If it sounds like a brochure, rewrite. |
| Cricket reset | A/B test CTAs, headlines. Yesterday's winner might be today's loser. |
Copy Patterns That Work
Headline Formulas (Aspirin-First)
- "Stop {pain point} without {undesirable tradeoff}"
- "{Achieve outcome} in {timeframe} — without {common frustration}"
- "The {category} that {specific differentiator}"
CTA Patterns (Match the Aspirin Angle)
- "Start {benefit} Now" > "Get Started" > "Sign Up" > "Submit"
- First-person wins: "Get My {Thing}" beats "Get Your {Thing}"
- Avoid: "Learn More," "Click Here," "Submit"
Feature Translation Pattern
For every feature, write: "{Feature}. So you don't have to {pain}." Example: "Automated daily reports. So you don't have to spend Friday afternoons in spreadsheets."
Synthesis: The Full Stack
| Layer | goatherders | Ramachandran |
|---|---|---|
| Simplicity | Hit the ball — keep it simple | Learn their world first |
| Focus | 4 things people buy | CXOs: "will it improve their world?" |
| Urgency | Sell aspirin, not vitamins | Help them solve/address a problem |
| Relationship | People buy from friends | Immersion > pitching |
| Resilience | — | Sales = cricket. Reset to 0. Love the grind. |
Pitfalls to Avoid
- Leading with credentials/features — they don't care. Lead with their problem.
- Selling vitamins as aspirin — if it's not urgent, acknowledge it. Don't fake urgency.
- Talking about your quota/burn rate — Ram's rule: no one cares. Talk about them.
- Overcomplicating — if your pitch can't fit on a napkin, it's too complex.
- Forgetting the reset — a page that doesn't convert isn't failure. It's the next innings. Test again.
- Using "we" language — "We offer..." → "You get..." Every sentence, flip the subject.
Worked Examples
See examples/ in this repo for annotated before/after rewrites:
landing-page-hero.md— aspirin-first headline + outcome CTApricing-cta.md— benefit-led CTA with risk-reversalcold-outreach-email.md— learn-their-world-first cold email
Sources
- goatherders: Hacker News comment on "Ask HN: How do you brand yourself as a freelancer?" (May 23, 2020)
- Ramachandran: Personal conversation, Aug 2026. CXO-level deal-maker, 15+ years in sales.
- Compilation and synthesis: Sathishkumar Varatharajan / KudoMetrics