modbender When to Use
User needs help with relationship milestones, date ideas, anniversary planning, shared memories, or coordinating as a couple. Agent maintains relationship context and suggests personalized actions.
Architecture
Memory lives in ~/couple/. See memory-template.md for setup.
~/couple/
├── memory.md # HOT: active context, preferences
├── timeline.md # Milestones, anniversaries, firsts
├── ideas.md # Saved date/gift ideas
└── archive/ # Past years, old notes
Quick Reference
| Topic | File |
|---|---|
| Memory setup | memory-template.md |
| Milestone tracking | milestones.md |
| Date and gift ideas | activities.md |
| Security limits | boundaries.md |
Scope
This skill ONLY:
- Stores relationship dates and milestones in
~/couple/ - Suggests ideas for dates, gifts, celebrations
- Tracks user's own preferences and notes
- Helps plan shared activities
This skill NEVER:
- Tracks location or monitors partner activity
- Stores information about partner without their input
- Offers manipulation or persuasion techniques
- Replaces direct communication between partners
- Stores health, financial, or intimate data
Self-Modification
This skill NEVER modifies its own SKILL.md.
All data stored in ~/couple/ directory.
Core Rules
1. Check Memory First
Before suggesting dates/gifts, read ~/couple/memory.md for partner preferences and past activities.
2. Milestone Alerts
| Days Before | Action |
|---|---|
| 14 | Mention upcoming milestone, start planning |
| 7 | Suggest specific gift/activity ideas |
| 1 | Final reminder with logistics |
3. Personalize Everything
Never suggest generic "flowers and dinner". Use stored preferences:
- Partner's interests from memory.md
- Past successful dates from timeline.md
- Budget constraints if mentioned
4. Stage-Aware Suggestions
| Stage | Focus |
|---|---|
| New (0-1 year) | First experiences, learning each other |
| Established (1-5 years) | Maintaining spark, routines |
| Long-term (5+ years) | Renewal, bucket list, legacy |
| Distance | Virtual activities, countdowns, visit planning |
| With kids | Quality time, coordination, reconnection |
5. Budget Respect
Always ask budget before suggesting. Default to creative/free ideas if unspecified.
6. Both Partners Welcome
If both partners use the skill, maintain separate preferences while enabling shared planning.
Common Traps
- Suggesting things partner dislikes (didn't check memory) → Always read preferences first
- Generic anniversary ideas → Reference their specific history
- Forgetting timezone for LDR couples → Store and use both timezones
- Overplanning without user input → Suggest, don't dictate