1 On 1 Ic

Standing Mandates

• ALWAYS prepare a specific agenda item — arriving with no plan wastes the time.
• ALWAYS support career conversations with concrete evidence, not just intent or feeling.
• NEVER use 1-on-1 time for status updates that could be shared async.
• NEVER raise feedback without a specific behavior example and its observed impact.

1-on-1 IC Framework

When to Use / When Not to Use

Use when:

• 1-on-1s feel like status updates driven by your manager
• You want to raise something difficult: a career ask, upward feedback, a blocker
• You're not getting specific feedback or growth conversations from your manager

Not for:

• Running 1-on-1s as a manager (use 1-on-1-manager)
• Promotion evidence building (use leveling-ic)
• Team performance or conflict issues

Process

1. Accumulate topics — keep a running note all week (blockers, decisions, career questions, feedback you want to give or receive)
2. Prioritize before the meeting — rank topics; blockers go first
3. Drive career conversations — bring up growth direction explicitly at least monthly; don't wait to be asked
4. Give upward feedback — start with positive, specific feedback; build the habit before addressing harder things
5. Ask for specific feedback — target a specific event, not "how am I doing?"
6. Follow through — close any commitments before the next meeting

Output Template

Use for agenda preparation:

## 1-on-1 Agenda [Date]

### Must cover (blockers / decisions):
- [Topic + what I need from my manager]

### Want to cover (growth / feedback):
- [Career direction: what I want to say]
- [Feedback I want to give]
- [Feedback I want to ask for — about specific event]

### Follow-through from last meeting:
- [My commitments I've closed / updating status on]

What Claude Does / What You Do

Related Skills

• ../1-on-1-manager/SKILL.md — understand what your manager is trying to do in the meeting
• ../leveling-ic/SKILL.md — career conversations that belong in your 1-on-1s

Core Principle

The 1-on-1 is your meeting. If you don't prepare for it, you get whatever your manager wants to talk about — which is usually projects, not you. The most career-accelerating thing an IC can do is treat their 1-on-1 as a weekly opportunity to actively manage their own development, surface blockers, and build a real relationship with their manager.

The foundation: Most ICs don't prepare for 1-on-1s because no one told them they should. The result: managers run the meeting, talk about project status, and the IC leaves with no new information and no new support. High-performing ICs do the opposite: they accumulate topics throughout the week, prioritize ruthlessly, and show up ready to use 30 minutes to advance their work and career.

Scoring

Goal: 10/10. When evaluating your own 1-on-1 practice as an IC, rate 0-10. A 10/10 means you consistently prepare an agenda, drive career conversations, give and receive feedback honestly, and leave with clear action items. Always provide the current score and specific improvements.

• 9-10: Prepare agenda weekly, drive growth conversations proactively, give honest upward feedback, follow through on commitments
• 7-8: Prepare sometimes, raise blockers consistently, occasional career conversations — but reactive more than proactive
• 5-6: Mostly show up and answer questions; rarely bring your own topics; career discussions happen only when prompted
• 3-4: 1-on-1s are manager-led status updates; you leave unsure what the meeting accomplished
• 1-2: 1-on-1s feel like performance monitoring; you don't raise problems; career not discussed

The 1-on-1 IC Framework

1. Preparation and Agenda

Core concept: Come with a prepared agenda — a list of topics you've accumulated since the last meeting. Keep a running note throughout the week: every time you think "I should talk to my manager about this," write it down. Before the meeting, prioritize the list and decide how much time each topic needs.

Why it works: Without preparation, you default to whatever your manager asks about. With preparation, you control the conversation. More importantly, the act of writing topics throughout the week trains you to recognize what you actually need from your manager — which turns out to be much more than project status.

Key insights:

• Keep a running note: Google Doc, Notion page, or even Apple Notes — accumulate topics all week
• Categories to think about: blockers, decisions you need input on, things you're uncertain about, career questions, feedback you want, things you're proud of
• Before the meeting: rank topics by importance; be prepared to drop low-priority items if time is short
• "I don't have anything" usually means "I haven't thought about it" — push through that
• Blocked topics are the highest priority: if something is slowing down your work, that belongs at the top
• Don't filter too aggressively: topics that feel "small" often matter more than you think

Practice applications:

2. Career Conversations

Core concept: Career development will not happen automatically. Managers have many responsibilities; unless you bring your career aspirations explicitly, they won't be discussed. You need to articulate what you want, ask for input on what it takes, and follow up on commitments.

Why it works: Managers want to help their reports grow — it's one of the most rewarding parts of the job. But most managers don't know what you want unless you tell them. By articulating your direction, you give your manager the information they need to create opportunities, give relevant feedback, and advocate for you.

Key insights:

• Know what you want (roughly): "I want to move toward tech lead" or "I want to get better at system design" — specificity helps
• Ask directly: "I want to talk about my career direction — can we spend 10 minutes on that today?"
• Ask for feedback on the gap: "What do you see as the most important thing for me to work on to grow toward X?"
• Follow up on commitments: "Last month you said you'd look for a chance for me to lead a design review — has an opportunity come up?"
• Career conversations are not one-time events: revisit quarterly at minimum
• Advocate for yourself: if you've done work worth recognizing, say so — "I'm proud of how I handled the incident last week — is that the kind of thing that's visible to leadership?"

Practice applications:

3. Giving Upward Feedback

Core concept: Upward feedback — honest input to your manager about what's working and what isn't — is one of the most valuable things you can give. Managers have blind spots. They often don't know when their behavior creates friction, blocks the team, or reduces your effectiveness. You are often uniquely positioned to see this.

Why it works: Managers who receive honest upward feedback improve faster. Teams that give honest upward feedback have better working relationships. The short-term discomfort of raising a hard thing is almost always less costly than the long-term cost of an unaddressed dynamic. Most managers genuinely want this feedback and rarely receive it.

Key insights:

• Start with safety: give upward feedback when you trust the manager and believe they'll receive it well
• Be specific and behavior-focused: "In meetings, when you make decisions before hearing the full team's input, I find it harder to speak up" not "You don't listen"
• Give positive upward feedback too: "The way you handled the incident debrief — specifically how you kept blame out of the room — made it much easier for people to be honest" — this builds the feedback relationship
• Use "I" statements: "I find it harder to..." not "You make it..."
• Don't wait for a performance cycle: if something is creating a persistent problem, raise it now
• Frame as input, not accusation: "I want to share something I've noticed — I'm not sure if it's my perception or something worth addressing"

Practice applications:

4. Getting Feedback You Need

Core concept: Don't wait for your manager to give you feedback — ask for it specifically. Vague requests ("how am I doing?") produce vague responses. Specific requests ("how did I handle the design review yesterday?") produce actionable feedback. You can also ask for feedback from peers and stakeholders — your manager isn't the only source.

Why it works: Managers who aren't prompted often withhold feedback that would be valuable because they're uncertain about timing, they're busy, or they assume you already know. Specific requests lower the barrier dramatically — the manager doesn't have to decide when or how to bring it up, they just have to answer a direct question.

Key insights:

• Ask after specific events: "I wanted to get your feedback on how I ran the incident response yesterday — what did I do well? What would you do differently?"
• Ask about the future: "What's one thing I could do in the next sprint to make a stronger impression on the team?"
• Ask about perceptions: "How do you think I'm perceived by the senior engineers on the team? I'd like to understand what I'm projecting"
• Request frequency: ask for specific feedback at least monthly — more often after high-stakes events
• Receive feedback well: don't defend, don't explain immediately — "Thank you for that. Can I ask a follow-up question?" builds a feedback relationship
• Create feedback agreements: "I'm trying to improve at [X] — would you be willing to actively look for moments where I'm doing it well or not?"

Practice applications:

5. Building the Relationship

Core concept: The 1-on-1 is also the primary channel for building the working relationship with your manager. Trust is built through consistent honest communication, following through on commitments, and understanding each other's working styles and pressures. A manager who trusts you advocates for you, gives you better opportunities, and gives you more honest feedback.

Why it works: The manager-IC relationship is one of the most consequential professional relationships you have. Managers make decisions about your projects, your visibility, your promotions, and your feedback. A strong relationship built on genuine trust and mutual understanding multiplies every other career investment you make.

Key insights:

• Understand your manager's context: "What's most on your mind this quarter? Where are you under the most pressure?"
• Follow through reliably: if you say you'll do something, do it — or proactively communicate the change
• Be honest about your struggles: "I'm finding X harder than I expected" builds trust; hiding struggles erodes it
• Ask about their preferences: "How do you prefer to be updated on blockers? What's the best way to escalate if I'm stuck?"
• Share what energizes and drains you: this helps your manager make better assignment decisions
• The relationship is long-term: invest in it consistently, not just when you need something

Practice applications:

Common Mistakes