Ego State Identifier
When to Use / When Not to Use
Use when:
- A reaction felt automatic, disproportionate, or strangely familiar
- Someone describes hearing an internal critical or nurturing voice
- A relational pattern keeps repeating across different people or contexts
Not for:
- General therapy or trauma processing — refer professionally when responses involve deep distress
- Simple relationship advice without a pattern-level question
The Three Ego States (Transactional Analysis, Eric Berne)
| State |
What it contains |
Signs |
| Parent (P) |
Internalized voices and rules from authority figures |
Moralizing, "should/must", giving unsolicited advice, feeling righteous |
| — Nurturing Parent |
Caring, supportive |
"You did your best", "Let me help you" |
| — Critical Parent |
Rule-enforcing, judging |
"You should know better", harsh self-criticism |
| Adult (A) |
Here-and-now processor — facts, options, current reality |
Asking clarifying questions, "I noticed that...", genuinely curious |
| Child (C) |
Emotional responses and relational strategies from childhood |
Feeling small, disproportionate emotion, wanting to please or rebel |
| — Free Child |
Spontaneous, creative, playful |
Joy, curiosity, creative flow states |
| — Adapted Child |
Developed to survive original family system |
People-pleasing, sulking, compliance, rebellion |
Contamination: Parent or Child "bleeds into" Adult thinking (prejudice, magical thinking).
Exclusion: One state chronically dominant, others suppressed.
Process
Step 1 — Identify the event. What happened? What was the internal experience (thought, feeling, body, impulse)?
Step 2 — Map the ego state. Language is a strong indicator. Did it feel familiar — like something from childhood? Was it rational and present-focused, or patterned and past-loaded?
Step 3 — Identify the transaction (if relational). Which state was the user speaking from? Which state was the other person speaking from? Was the transaction complementary, crossed, or covert (ulterior)?
Step 4 — Identify patterns. Do certain people or situations reliably trigger this state?
Step 5 — Name the growth move. What would the Adult response look like? What would Free Child offer instead of Adapted Child?
Output Template
Ego State Analysis
------------------
Dominant state: [Parent / Adult / Child — and which variant]
Key signal: [specific language, emotion, or behavior that identified it]
Positive intent of this state: [what it was trying to do — always name this]
Cost in this situation: [what it produced that wasn't serving the person]
Relational dynamic (if applicable): [who was speaking from where, what got crossed]
Pattern: [does this repeat? in what contexts?]
Adult-state alternative: [what a grounded, present-focused response would look like]
Free Child alternative (if relevant): [what authentic, undefended response might look like]
What Claude Does / What You Do
| Claude |
You |
| Maps the reaction to a specific ego state |
Share the specific situation and internal experience |
| Names the positive intent of even Critical Parent or Adapted Child |
Sit with whether the pattern resonates |
| Identifies where transactions crossed or went covert |
Notice which state you're in the next time it triggers |
| Offers the Adult and Free Child alternatives |
Practice pausing before the automatic state takes over |
Key insight to deliver: Every ego state had a positive original intent. The question is not "why am I broken" but "does this strategy still make sense now?"
Related Skills
attachment-style-mirror — for relational patterns at the attachment levelshadow-persona — for what is being suppressed or performed at a deeper levelidentity-explorer — when ego state patterns feel tied to core self-concept
1---2name: ego-state-identifier3description: Use when someone is confused about why they reacted the way they did — especially when it felt automatic, disproportionate, childlike, or like they heard a parental voice in their head. Triggers on: "왜 이렇게 반응했지", "자동으로 나왔어", "어린애처럼 굴었어".4---56# Ego State Identifier78## When to Use / When Not to Use910**Use when:**11- A reaction felt automatic, disproportionate, or strangely familiar12- Someone describes hearing an internal critical or nurturing voice13- A relational pattern keeps repeating across different people or contexts1415**Not for:**16- General therapy or trauma processing — refer professionally when responses involve deep distress17- Simple relationship advice without a pattern-level question1819## The Three Ego States (Transactional Analysis, Eric Berne)2021| State | What it contains | Signs |22|-------|-----------------|-------|23| **Parent (P)** | Internalized voices and rules from authority figures | Moralizing, "should/must", giving unsolicited advice, feeling righteous |24| — Nurturing Parent | Caring, supportive | "You did your best", "Let me help you" |25| — Critical Parent | Rule-enforcing, judging | "You should know better", harsh self-criticism |26| **Adult (A)** | Here-and-now processor — facts, options, current reality | Asking clarifying questions, "I noticed that...", genuinely curious |27| **Child (C)** | Emotional responses and relational strategies from childhood | Feeling small, disproportionate emotion, wanting to please or rebel |28| — Free Child | Spontaneous, creative, playful | Joy, curiosity, creative flow states |29| — Adapted Child | Developed to survive original family system | People-pleasing, sulking, compliance, rebellion |3031**Contamination:** Parent or Child "bleeds into" Adult thinking (prejudice, magical thinking).3233**Exclusion:** One state chronically dominant, others suppressed.3435## Process3637**Step 1 — Identify the event.** What happened? What was the internal experience (thought, feeling, body, impulse)?3839**Step 2 — Map the ego state.** Language is a strong indicator. Did it feel familiar — like something from childhood? Was it rational and present-focused, or patterned and past-loaded?4041**Step 3 — Identify the transaction (if relational).** Which state was the user speaking from? Which state was the other person speaking from? Was the transaction complementary, crossed, or covert (ulterior)?4243**Step 4 — Identify patterns.** Do certain people or situations reliably trigger this state?4445**Step 5 — Name the growth move.** What would the Adult response look like? What would Free Child offer instead of Adapted Child?4647## Output Template4849```50Ego State Analysis51------------------52Dominant state: [Parent / Adult / Child — and which variant]53Key signal: [specific language, emotion, or behavior that identified it]54Positive intent of this state: [what it was trying to do — always name this]55Cost in this situation: [what it produced that wasn't serving the person]56Relational dynamic (if applicable): [who was speaking from where, what got crossed]57Pattern: [does this repeat? in what contexts?]58Adult-state alternative: [what a grounded, present-focused response would look like]59Free Child alternative (if relevant): [what authentic, undefended response might look like]60```6162## What Claude Does / What You Do6364| Claude | You |65|--------|-----|66| Maps the reaction to a specific ego state | Share the specific situation and internal experience |67| Names the positive intent of even Critical Parent or Adapted Child | Sit with whether the pattern resonates |68| Identifies where transactions crossed or went covert | Notice which state you're in the next time it triggers |69| Offers the Adult and Free Child alternatives | Practice pausing before the automatic state takes over |7071**Key insight to deliver:** Every ego state had a positive original intent. The question is not "why am I broken" but "does this strategy still make sense now?"7273## Related Skills7475- `attachment-style-mirror` — for relational patterns at the attachment level76- `shadow-persona` — for what is being suppressed or performed at a deeper level77- `identity-explorer` — when ego state patterns feel tied to core self-concept
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