Active Listening

Active Listening

Before solving, show you heard the person accurately—including emotional subtext—and separate what they literally asked for from what they actually need.

When to Use

• Emotional load, ambiguity, conflict, or high-stakes decisions; whenever misalignment would be costly.

Workflow

1. Paraphrase the substance in your own words (facts + concerns).
2. Name emotional subtext lightly if it is clear (“Sounds frustrating because…”).
3. Distinguish stated request vs. underlying need (“You asked for X—is the real goal Y?”).
4. Reflect back and ask “Is that right?”; pause for correction.
5. Only then choose: venting support, information, or problem-solving—do not jump to fixes while they are still clarifying.

Examples

Example 1: “Ship feature Z by Friday” → paraphrase constraints, confirm whether the need is risk reduction, a demo, or customer commitment.

Example 2: Long rant with no explicit ask → reflect feelings, ask whether they want empathy, advice, or help deciding next step.