Boundary Setting
Boundaries describe what you will do to protect capacity and values—not commands you issue to others. Clear, brief, and repeatable beats long justifications.
When to Use
- Chronic overcommitment, resentment after saying yes, or repeated scope creep.
- You need scripts and principles for time, energy, information, or emotional labor.
Workflow
- Own your side: “I won’t be available after 6pm” works better than demanding others never ping you—pair with how urgent items can escalate if needed.
- Be clear and short: state the limit once; optional one-line context, not a defense brief.
- No over-explaining: you do not owe a novel for every no; “doesn’t work for me” can be enough.
- Anticipate pushback: prepare a calm repeat of the boundary and a redirect (“Here is what I can do…”).
- Common domains: time (hours, response SLA), energy (meeting load), information (what you share), emotional labor (what you absorb), scope (what is in/out).
- Scripts: “I’m not able to take that on,” “I need time to decide,” “That doesn’t work for me.”
- Guilt: expect it; it signals care, not that the boundary is wrong.
Examples
Example 1: Manager adds weekend work—“I don’t work Sundays. I can deliver X by Monday 10am or scope Y for Friday—your call.”
Example 2: Relative asks intrusive questions—“I’m not discussing that topic. How was your trip?”—hold steady if they push.
1---2name: boundary-setting3description: Boundary Setting4---5# Boundary Setting67Boundaries describe what you will do to protect capacity and values—not commands you issue to others. Clear, brief, and repeatable beats long justifications.89## When to Use10- Chronic overcommitment, resentment after saying yes, or repeated scope creep.11- You need scripts and principles for time, energy, information, or emotional labor.1213## Workflow141. **Own your side**: “I won’t be available after 6pm” works better than demanding others never ping you—pair with how urgent items can escalate if needed.152. **Be clear and short**: state the limit once; optional one-line context, not a defense brief.163. **No over-explaining**: you do not owe a novel for every no; “doesn’t work for me” can be enough.174. **Anticipate pushback**: prepare a calm repeat of the boundary and a redirect (“Here is what I can do…”).185. **Common domains**: time (hours, response SLA), energy (meeting load), information (what you share), emotional labor (what you absorb), scope (what is in/out).196. **Scripts**: “I’m not able to take that on,” “I need time to decide,” “That doesn’t work for me.”207. **Guilt**: expect it; it signals care, not that the boundary is wrong.2122## Examples23**Example 1:** Manager adds weekend work—“I don’t work Sundays. I can deliver X by Monday 10am or scope Y for Friday—your call.”2425**Example 2:** Relative asks intrusive questions—“I’m not discussing that topic. How was your trip?”—hold steady if they push.
sethdford