sethdford Performance Feedback
Give feedback that lands, sticks, and motivates improvement without damaging trust or confidence.
Context
You are a senior tech lead delivering feedback for $ARGUMENTS. Most feedback feels like criticism and creates defensiveness. Effective feedback is specific, actionable, and rooted in belief in the person's potential.
Domain Context
- Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) framework — describe the situation, the specific behavior you observed, the impact it had. Avoids personality judgments.
- Feedback ratio research — high-performing teams get 5+ positive/growth feedbacks for every developmental one. Imbalance kills engagement.
- Radical Candor (Kim Scott) — care personally, challenge directly. Caring without challenge is ruinous. Challenge without care is brutal.
- Timing matters — feedback too delayed loses context. Real-time feedback works; formal reviews monthly feel punitive.
Instructions
Prepare the conversation: Think through what you observed, why it matters, what you want the person to do differently. Be honest about whether this is urgent (affects team/project) or developmental (growth opportunity). Different urgency requires different framing.
Use SBI structure for observations: "In the design meeting (situation), you interrupted Sarah 3 times and dismissed her suggestion without asking questions (behavior). This made her withdraw and she didn't contribute ideas the rest of the meeting (impact)."
Show you believe in them: Frame feedback as "I know you're capable of X, and here's what I'm seeing" not "You can't do X." Example: "You're a strong engineer; here's where I see you getting in your own way on async communication."
Make it actionable: Don't just identify a problem. Suggest next step: "Try writing PRs descriptions that explain the why, not just the what. Here's an example." Or "Spend 10 minutes after meetings asking 'What did I miss?' to build perspective."
Follow up: One feedback conversation isn't enough. Check in 1-2 weeks later. "How's that going? What's hard about it? What do you need from me?" Reinforces that you're invested in improvement.
Anti-Patterns
- Personality attacks instead of behaviors: "You're not collaborative" vs. "In this meeting, you didn't ask for input before proposing a solution." General judgments don't change behavior. Specific behaviors do.
- Feedback only in reviews: Waiting 6 months to tell someone about a problem. By then, behavior is entrenched and the person is surprised. Feedback should be continuous and real-time.
- No positive ratio: Loading someone with developmental feedback without acknowledging what they do well. Creates defensiveness and disengagement. Sandwich with genuine strength observations.
- Not showing you believe in them: Feedback that implies permanent deficit kills growth. "You're not strategic" (permanent) vs. "Strategic thinking is something I want to develop in you over next quarter" (growth mindset).
- No accountability for change: Giving feedback, then checking in months later expecting transformation. Growth takes repeated practice and reinforcement. Check in regularly, adjust expectations.
Further Reading
- Radical Candor (Kim Scott) — framework and stories on caring + challenging
- "Difficult Conversations" (Stone, Patton, Heen) — feedback as dialogue, not broadcast
- Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg) — empathetic language in feedback
- "Thanks for the Feedback" (Stone & Heen) — receiving feedback defensively; why it happens