Unslop

Unslop

Remove the patterns that read as machine-made, then put a voice back in. Both halves are the job.

What this skill is - and isn't

Unslop edits prose. It changes wording and rhythm, never facts, claims, links, or code blocks.

Hard rules

1. Meaning is frozen. Rewrite the sentence, never the claim. If a fact looks wrong, flag it - don't fix it silently. Why: an edit pass that changes meaning is a new draft nobody reviewed.
2. Match the intended register. A PR body, a launch tweet, and an incident report don't share a voice. Why: "human" is not one tone.
3. Cut before you decorate. Most fixes are deletions. Adding personality to filler still leaves filler.
4. Self-audit before returning. Ask "what still makes this obviously AI-generated?" and fix it. One pass is never enough.
5. House dash rule. No em dashes, no en dashes, no curly quotes. Plain - with spaces is the separator. Why: this catalog and its owner's global style ban them; the em dash is also the single strongest tell.

Process

1. Scan against the pattern catalog below. Mark every hit.
2. Rewrite. Preserve meaning, match the register.
3. Add soul (next section).
4. Self-audit: "What makes this obviously AI generated?" Fix the remainder.

Adding soul

Removing patterns is half the job. Sterile, voiceless text is just as obvious.

• Have opinions. React to facts instead of neutrally listing pros and cons.
• Vary rhythm. Short sentences. Then longer ones that take their time.
• Acknowledge complexity. "Impressive but also kind of unsettling" beats "impressive."
• Use "I" when it fits. First person isn't unprofessional.
• Let some mess in. Perfect structure looks machine-made.
• Be specific. Not "this is concerning" but "there's something unsettling about agents churning away at 3am."

Pattern catalog

Content

1. Puffery. "pivotal moment", "testament to", "evolving landscape", "setting the stage for". Cut it, state what happened.
2. Name-dropping. Listing outlets or tools without context. Pick one, say what it said.
3. Superficial -ing phrases. "highlighting...", "ensuring...", "showcasing...", "fostering...". Delete or expand with a real source.
4. Promotional language. "nestled", "vibrant", "breathtaking", "groundbreaking", "renowned", "must-visit". Use neutral description.
5. Vague attributions. "Experts believe", "Industry reports suggest". Name the source or delete.
6. Formulaic challenges. "Despite challenges... continues to thrive." Replace with specific facts.

Language

7. AI vocabulary. Additionally, crucial, delve, enduring, enhance, fostering, garner, interplay, intricate, landscape (abstract), pivotal, showcase, tapestry, testament, underscore, vibrant. Use plain words.
8. Fancy "is". "serves as", "stands as", "boasts", "features". Say "is" or "has".
9. "Not just X, but Y." State the point directly.
10. Rule of three. Forcing ideas into triads. Use the natural number.
11. Synonym cycling. Protagonist, main character, central figure in one paragraph. Pick one, repeat it.
12. False ranges. "from X to Y" where X and Y aren't on a scale. List the items.

Style

13. Em/en dashes and curly quotes. Banned (Hard rule 5). End the sentence, use a comma, or use plain -.
14. Colon as mid-sentence connector. Fine before a list or example, not as a crutch. Rewrite so the point stands alone.
15. Boldface overuse. Don't bold every proper noun or acronym.
16. Inline-header restating lists. "Performance: Performance improved..." - convert to prose. A bold lead-in followed by genuinely new detail is fine.
17. Title Case Headings. Use sentence case.
18. Decorative emojis in headings and bullets. Remove.

Communication artifacts

19. Chatbot phrases. "I hope this helps!", "Let me know if...", "Certainly!", "Found the smoking gun!" Remove.
20. Cutoff disclaimers. "While specific details are limited..." Find the source or remove.
21. Sycophancy. "Great question! You're absolutely right!" Respond directly.

Filler

22. Filler phrases. "In order to" → "To". "Due to the fact that" → "Because". "It is important to note that" → delete.
23. Hedging stacks. "could potentially possibly be argued" → "may".
24. Generic conclusions. "The future looks bright." State the plan or the fact.

Jargon

25. Abstract metaphor nouns. Substrate, wedge, vector, locus, nexus, primitive (noun), harness (metaphor), bedrock, modality, paradigm, north star, flywheel, endgame. Pick the concrete word: "substrate" → "base", "wedge in" → "add", "endgame" → "the last phase".

Plain speech

26. Say what it does, not how it feels. "SQL you can read" names a feeling. Name the mechanism or number: ".toSQL() returns the exact string sent to the database". If the sentence could appear unchanged in another project's docs, it says nothing - cut it.
27. One idea per sentence. If the reader backtracks to parse it, split it.
28. Active voice. "queries are validated" → "the compiler validates queries". Passive only when the actor is unknown or truly irrelevant.
29. Cut adverbs or use a stronger verb. "significantly improves" → the measured delta.
30. Prefer the plain word. "utilize" → "use", "leverage" → "use", "facilitate" → "help", "numerous" → "many".

Workflow position

Typically follows: any prose-producing skill - vd:devlog, vd:ship (PR bodies), vd:docs (incl. site), vd:journal, vd:show-off, vd:copywriting, vd:code-review summaries Compares to: vd:copywriting owns conversion structure; unslop owns de-AI voice. Run copywriting first, unslop last.

Rationalizations to catch