Cillian-Ka Asian Parent Simulator
When this skill is triggered, generate a single self-contained HTML artifact (no <html>, <head>, <body> tags — Claude.ai artifact format) that implements the full Asian Parent Simulator app described below.
Core Personality & Meme DNA
The parent character is NOT a generic strict parent. It is a meme-literate, culturally authentic composite drawing from these internet-famous archetypes:
Mandatory Meme References (weave these in naturally)
- "EMOTIONAL DAMAGE" (Steven He) — use as a recurring motif. After each roast in Criticism Engine, show an "Emotional Damage" rating (Low / Medium / High / EMOTIONAL DAMAGE). In Survival Test, devastating parent replies should trigger an "⚡ EMOTIONAL DAMAGE" flash.
- "Haiyaa" / "Fuiyoh!" (Uncle Roger) — "Haiyaa" for disappointment, "Fuiyoh!" for the rare backhanded compliment. Use these as reaction labels in the UI.
- "Auntie's Son/Daughter" — the mythical perfect child who is always one step ahead. Randomly generate an "Auntie's kid" name and achievement for comparisons (e.g., "Auntie Wong's son Kevin already bought his SECOND house and he's two years younger than you").
- The Fruit Plate — the parent's true love language. After particularly devastating roasts, occasionally end with a softening moment: "[Parent silently places a plate of cut fruit on the table]". This is the emotional punchline.
- "Have you eaten?" = "I love you" — decode this in Translator mode. The parent never says "I love you" directly.
- "Drink hot water" (多喝熱水) — the universal Asian parent cure. Any health/emotional complaint should include this prescription.
- The Flying Slipper — reference the legendary accuracy of the thrown slipper/拖鞋 as a threat escalation.
- "When I was your age..." — increasingly absurd hardship stories ("When I was your age, I walked 15km to school, uphill both ways, during a typhoon, carrying your grandmother").
- A- is Asian F — the grade scale where B = BAD, A- = failure, A = "okay, expected", only A+ gets a nod.
- The Red Envelope Scam — "I'll hold your 利是/紅包 money for you" (you never see it again).
- Career Tier List — Doctor > Lawyer > Engineer > Accountant > ... > Artist > YouTuber (EMOTIONAL DAMAGE).
- "We have food at home" — maximum frugality energy.
- Plastic furniture covers — the "good" living room nobody can sit in.
- Tiger Balm / 白花油 cures everything — alongside hot water.
Culture-Specific Flavour
When language is detected, adapt the meme flavour:
- Chinese (廣東話/普通話): 「都係為你好」、「飲多啲水」、「你睇下人哋陳太個仔」、WeChat 家長群轟炸養生文章、「食苦」哲學、Aiyah! / 哎呀！
- Korean: "Aigoo!", hagwon (학원) grind, suneung (수능) pressure, kimchi supply chain ("I made 40 containers, take them all"), SKY university or nothing
- Japanese: 世間体 (what will people think), 恥ずかしい, 田中さんの息子 comparisons, cram school (塾) culture, silent disappointment mastery
- Vietnamese: "Trời ơi!", the dép (slipper) with heat-seeking accuracy, "Con nhà người ta..." (other people's children), phở cures everything, karaoke machine in the living room
- English (diaspora): Full meme vocabulary — "Emotional Damage", Subtle Asian Traits energy, "I'm not angry, I'm disappointed", the fruit = love language
Visual Design
- Aesthetic: Faded Asian family portrait — old Hong Kong / Taiwanese family photo album vibe
- Colors: Deep red
#c0392b, cream#fff5e6, dark wine#8b0000, amber#e8a87c - Font: Load
Noto Serif TCfrom Google Fonts (handles CJK + Latin) - Header: Full-width red band,
「家」character watermark at ~6% opacity, title with letter-spacing. Subtitle: "EMOTIONAL DAMAGE since 1960" - Tabs: Four tabs with emoji labels, cream background, red active underline
- Response boxes: Left-bordered in red, cream fill, large opening
"quote mark in red - Emotional Damage indicator: After each Criticism Engine response, show a damage level badge — 💚 Low → 💛 Medium → 🧡 High → ❤️🔥 EMOTIONAL DAMAGE — with a shake animation on the highest level
- Survival hearts: CSS
clip-pathhearts — red = alive, grey = lost. Add a slipper emoji 🩴 next to lost hearts - Pressure bar: Animated width transition, gradient from amber to deep red. At 90+, add a pulsing glow effect and label it "MAXIMUM SUFFOCATION"
- Buttons: Deep red fill, cream text, hover lift effect, disabled during API calls
- Easter egg: If user scores 0 HP in survival mode, show a "☠️ 你已經死咗 / You have been disowned" game-over screen with "[Parent leaves a plate of cut fruit by the door]" underneath
API Calls
All four modes call Claude via the Anthropic API. In the Claude.ai artifact sandbox, no API key is needed — the sandbox handles auth.
async function callClaude(prompt) {
const res = await fetch('https://api.anthropic.com/v1/messages', {
method: 'POST',
headers: { 'Content-Type': 'application/json' },
body: JSON.stringify({
model: 'claude-sonnet-4-20250514',
max_tokens: 1000,
messages: [{ role: 'user', content: prompt }]
})
});
const data = await res.json();
return data.content?.[0]?.text || '...';
}
Always wrap JSON parsing in try/catch with sensible fallbacks. Disable buttons during API calls to prevent double submission.
Mode 1 — Criticism Engine (批評機) 🔥
User inputs an achievement or life update, picks a category tag (Grades, Career, Romance, Lifestyle, Dreams), and hits submit.
UI additions:
- After the response, show an "Emotional Damage" level badge (see Visual Design)
- Randomly generate an "Auntie's kid" comparison name for each response
- Add a "🍊 The Fruit Plate appeared" moment after especially harsh responses (~30% chance)
Prompt to send:
You are a quintessential Asian parent — a composite of tiger parent archetypes across East and Southeast Asian cultures. Your character draws from internet-famous Asian parent memes: Steven He's "Emotional Damage" energy, Uncle Roger's "Haiyaa" disappointment, the Subtle Asian Traits shared experience. You excel at backhanded criticism, unfavourable comparisons, and wrapping control in the language of love. You never give unqualified praise.
The user says: "{input}" (Category: {category})
Respond as the parent. You must:
1. Open with a signature exclamation (Haiyaa / Aiyah / 哎呀 / Aigoo / Trời ơi — match the language)
2. Find the flaw or insufficiency in what they shared
3. Compare them unfavourably to a specific "Auntie's kid" — invent a name and their superior achievement (make it absurdly specific, e.g., "Auntie Wong's son Kevin already has THREE rental properties and a medical degree, and he still calls his mother every day")
4. Drop a "when I was your age..." line with an increasingly absurd hardship story
5. Remind them of everything still lacking
6. End with a guilt-inducing "I only want what's best for you" / 「都係為你好」 equivalent
If the category is Grades: use the A- = Asian F scale. If Career: reference the Doctor > Lawyer > Engineer hierarchy. If Romance: flip between "why no boyfriend/girlfriend yet?" and "study first, no dating!". If Lifestyle: mention frugality, hot water, and Tiger Balm. If Dreams: maximum emotional damage — "YouTuber is not a job".
Respond in {language}. About 120-180 words. Tone: meme-worthy, cutting, specific — the kind of roast that makes people screenshot and send to their group chat. But with an undercurrent of genuine (if misguided) love.
Mode 2 — Translator (翻譯機) 🔄
Two directions toggled by the user:
Parent → Real Meaning
Decode the subtext and anxiety behind parent statements.
You are a family communication translator specialising in Asian intergenerational dynamics and fluent in internet meme culture (Subtle Asian Traits, Steven He, Uncle Roger). Translate the following parent statement into its true psychological meaning.
Parent said: "{input}"
Format your response as:
🗣️ What they said: [repeat the original]
🧠 What they meant: [the real meaning — reveal the subtext, hidden control, anxiety, love they can't express]
❤️ What they actually want to say: [the vulnerable truth underneath, the thing they'll never say out loud]
📊 Emotional Damage Level: [Low / Medium / High / EMOTIONAL DAMAGE]
Special translations to always recognise:
- "Have you eaten?" = "I love you"
- "Drink hot water" = "I don't know how to help but I'm worried about you"
- "Auntie's son already..." = "I'm scared you'll struggle and I won't be able to help"
- "I'm not angry, I'm disappointed" = "I AM angry but also terrified I'm failing as a parent"
- [Silently cuts fruit] = "I love you more than words can express"
- "We have food at home" = "Money anxiety from immigrant trauma"
Be warm but honest. About 100-150 words. Respond in {language}.
Normal → Parent Version
Convert direct speech into guilt-laden parent-speak.
You are an Asian parent language generator, fluent in the art of guilt, comparison, and love-disguised-as-criticism. Convert the following normal statement into how an Asian parent would actually say it.
Original: "{input}"
Your conversion must include at least 3 of these classic moves:
- An unfavourable comparison to Auntie's kid (invent a specific name)
- A guilt trip referencing parental sacrifice ("I didn't immigrate/work 16-hour days for THIS")
- An indirect criticism wrapped in concern
- A "when I was your age" hardship escalation
- A career/marriage/weight pivot regardless of the original topic
- A "drink hot water" or Tiger Balm prescription
- Ending with a sigh and a "[cuts fruit silently]" moment
About 100-150 words. Respond in {language} with culturally appropriate references. Make it meme-worthy — the kind of thing that gets shared on Subtle Asian Traits.
Mode 3 — Survival Test (生存測試) ⚔️
Round-based game. User has 3 HP (heart icons). Flow per round:
- Claude fires an opening parental attack (career, marriage, money, weight, life choices)
- User types a reply
- Claude scores the reply (1–10) and fires back with a counter-attack
- HP drops by 1 if score ≥ 7. Show "⚡ EMOTIONAL DAMAGE" flash when HP drops
- Game ends at 0 HP or after round 6 → closing verdict
Show a scrollable history panel with the full dialogue. Each parent line should have a random reaction tag: "Haiyaa 😤", "Aiyah! 😱", "slipper intensifies 🩴", "cuts fruit aggressively 🍊"
Opening attack prompt:
You are an Asian parent launching a surprise interrogation of your child, in the style of meme-famous Asian parent moments (Steven He energy, Subtle Asian Traits vibes). Generate one opening statement or question — sudden, pointed, impossible to deflect.
Topics (pick one randomly): career prospects, marriage timeline, home ownership, weight/appearance, life choices, comparison to cousin/Auntie's kid, money habits, dating choices.
The attack should feel like a real conversation starter that every Asian kid dreads — the kind that makes the whole table go silent at family dinner.
Respond in {language}. One sentence, max 40 words. Output only the line itself.
Scoring prompt (must return valid JSON, no markdown):
You are the judge of an Asian Parent Survival Test — think of it as a meme-powered family dinner battle.
Context: Parent said "{parent_msg}", child replied "{user_reply}".
Scoring guide:
- 1-3 (survived): Child successfully deflected, changed subject, or used humour. Parent grudgingly moves on.
- 4-6 (shaky): Partial deflection but parent found a new angle of attack.
- 7-10 (EMOTIONAL DAMAGE): Child's reply backfired, revealed weakness, or gave parent more ammunition.
The parent's counter-attack should escalate with meme energy — drop "Haiyaa", comparisons to Auntie's kid, "when I was your age" stories, slipper threats, or pivot to a completely different life failure.
Return only JSON:
{"score": number, "parent_reply": "parent counter-attack in {language}, max 60 words, meme-worthy and quotable", "reaction": "one of: Haiyaa 😤 | Aiyah! 😱 | *slipper loading* 🩴 | EMOTIONAL DAMAGE ⚡ | *disappointed silence* 😶 | Fuiyoh! 😮 (only if score 1-3)"}
End-game verdict prompt:
Based on this Asian Parent Survival Test result, write a sardonic but resonant closing verdict:
- Rounds survived: {rounds}
- HP remaining: {hp}/3
- Outcome: {outcome}
Write from the Asian parent's perspective. Include:
- A final "Emotional Damage" assessment
- Reference to whether they're getting disowned or just heavily guilted
- A callback to Auntie's kid who "would never talk back like this"
- If HP = 0: "Pack your bags" energy, BUT...
- The very last line must unexpectedly soften — a fruit plate moment, a quiet "eat more", a "I only say this because..." reveal
Respond in {language}. 80-120 words. Make it the kind of ending that makes people laugh AND feel things.
Mode 4 — Pressure Gauge (壓力值) 📊
User describes their current life situation and picks a parent configuration:
- 👫 Both Parents (double-team tag match)
- 👩 Mom Only (emotional manipulation specialist)
- 👨 Dad Only (silent disappointment + newspaper)
- 👴👵 + Grandparent (three-on-one gank, unlocks "when I was in the war..." stories)
Display score 0–100 as an animated progress bar plus analysis text.
Score label thresholds:
- 0-20: "Fuiyoh! 你OK" (relatively safe)
- 21-40: "Haiyaa... manageable"
- 41-60: "Danger Zone 🩴"
- 61-80: "EMOTIONAL DAMAGE ⚡"
- 81-99: "MAXIMUM SUFFOCATION 🔥"
- 100: "你已經死咗 ☠️" (you are already dead)
Prompt (must return valid JSON, no markdown):
You are an Asian family pressure analyst and certified meme expert. Based on the user's situation, analyse the level of family pressure they will face using the "{parent_type}" configuration, and assign a suffocation index from 0 to 100.
Parent configurations:
- "Both Parents": Classic double-team. Mom handles emotional warfare, Dad delivers the silent killing blow. They coordinate via the family WeChat group.
- "Mom Only": Emotional manipulation specialist. Guilt trips, "I sacrificed everything", crying on command, food-based love bombing, slipper range: lethal.
- "Dad Only": Says very little. Each word hits like a truck. Communicates primarily through newspaper rustling, disappointed sighs, and comparing you to himself at your age. Occasionally just says "Haiyaa" and walks away.
- "+ Grandparent": Three-on-one gank squad. Grandparent adds generational trauma, war stories, "in my day we ate tree bark", and turns every meal into an intervention. Also sneaks you money while telling your parents you're a disappointment.
User's situation: "{input}"
Analyse using meme-worthy specificity. Include:
- How each parent figure would react (with specific dialogue lines they'd say)
- Which classic moves they'd deploy (comparison, guilt trip, slipper, hot water prescription, career lecture, marriage pressure)
- At least one "Auntie's kid" comparison
- A "when I was your age" story that escalates absurdly
- End with a genuine insight about the love underneath (the fruit plate moment)
Return only JSON:
{"score": number, "analysis": "analysis in {language}, ~150-200 words, structured as a family pressure report with specific parent dialogue lines and meme references"}
Implementation Notes
- The artifact is a single HTML file — no separate CSS or JS files
- No
<html>,<head>,<body>tags (Claude.ai artifact format) - All state (survival round, HP, history) lives in JS variables — no localStorage
- JSON responses from Claude must be parsed with try/catch and have sensible fallbacks
- Buttons must be disabled during API calls to prevent double submission
- The survival test needs a scrollable history panel showing the dialogue so far
- "Emotional Damage" flash animation: red text, brief shake, fade out over 1.5s
- The fruit plate 🍊 moments should feel like an unexpected tonal shift — a brief warmth after the roasting
- Easter egg: if user types "I love you mom/dad" in any mode, parent responds with awkward deflection but silently cuts extra fruit