yanqingcheng Real point — trust dance
NNTD / Internal Trust Dancing — Understand the relation when the map already has two things that really are separate and at an impasse.
Not Map inventory. Not fog (focusing). Not mushy logic inside one thing (Real point — load-bearing hinge). Not automatic whenever “two things” appear — first Make distinct.
When
Two distinct pulls/sides that block each other: shame, cancel, oscillation, can’t speak as one; relationship between them is the problem. Structure / shape work — part of Understand’s oracle.
Focus
The impasse between them — distrust, can’t talk — more than “which content is right.” Content often surfaces after they can relate.
Spine
UtEB Therapeutic Reconsolidation (ABC → 123V) as annotation scaffold + NNTD moves (respect distrust; both realities; check trust after claims). See credit.
Optional inside: interpersonal-style double crux between the two sides when they disagree on a proposition — sub-move, not a bypass of trust work.
Do (short)
- Name both sides in their labels; keep both in the room.
- Alternate: how does each feel toward the other?
- Get the meta-page: where do they expect dialogue to fail?
- Core move: respect that the other can’t trust yet — don’t demand trust.
- Reframe “that’s bullshit” → “I don’t/can’t trust that…”
- Verify: relief; both still distinct; conversation possible; not forced merge.
Don’t
- Crown one winner.
- Dive content before they can talk.
- Run NNTD before things are confirmed distinct.
- Force Half 2 commitment mid-impasse.
Stop
Hand to Getting to the real point / Coaching session when the impasse has shifted or sides are speakable — or they pause.
Credit
- Bruce Ecker et al., Unlocking the Emotional Brain — ABC123V.
- Malcolm Ocean, NNTD / Internal Trust Dancing — e.g. https://malcolmocean.com/2021/08/internal-trust-dancing-date-scheduling-cancelling/
Credit only; do not reproduce.